Allow me to set the scene for you darling readers. It is approximately midnight on a school night for YKW. He has just dealt with a screaming baby and watching the news and gone to bed. I am rummaging, rummaging, rummaging through the newly tidied linen closet.
him: What are you doing?
me: Looking for something.
him: Uh, yea... WHAT are you looking for?
me: That Body Shop masque I bought you a long time ago.
me: FOUND it! Yesssss.
*5 minutes go by*
me: I'm going to just put this masque on and you have to let it dry for 20 minutes. Then I am going to jump in the shower. I'll be in bed in like half an hour.
*He knows full well I will most definitely not be in bed in half an hour.*
*I put the army green masque on my face and pass him in the hall.*
me: *talking with minimal lip movement* Don't make me laugh, you'll crack it.
*15 minutes pass*
*diddle-eeep* *diddle-eeep* *click* *diddle-eeep* *diddle-eeep* *click* *diddle-eeep* *diddle-eeep* *click* *diddle-eeep* *diddle-eeep* *click*
him: *looking totally disheveled and yet adorably "Dave" in a sleepy sort of way* WHAT the FUCK are you taking pictures of?
me: *jumping a foot and a half, then I immediately start cracking up AND cracking the masque* I thought you were sleeping!
him: All I kept hearing was diddle-eeep diddle-eeep click diddle-eeep diddle-eeep click diddle-eeep diddle-eeep. Just when I thought it was done, there it went again. Diddle-eeep diddle-eeep click diddle-eeep diddle-eeep!
Bottomline dearest readers, I am dead SEXY. And he knows it.