Adobe® Photoshop®. Even a version that is a few years old will do. I want to learn it. And yes, this might mean that you see my head buried in the laptop 24/7... but really, how is that different from now? Plus, think of all the cool things I can create!
** UPDATE! Thanks a million trillion bazillion times over to my friend Lisa for an early birthday gift! You totally and completely rock. Rock you like a hurricane, rock. Rock me Amadeus, rock. You. Are. Awesome. For realsies!**