No.

07 February 2013

Hi, my name is Michelle and I have a hard time saying no.

Everybody now, “hiiiiii Michelle!

I don’t think I’m alone in this.  I can’t be the only one.  It is excruciating for me.  I’m kind of a tough cookie, so you would think that saying no would be easy.  I have zero problem opening my mouth and telling you how it is, so why does that one little word always gets stuck?

Because I don’t want to disappoint someone?  Because I don’t want to hurt your feelings?  Because I’ve always been there in the past?  Because it’s expected?  Because there is a need, a want, an obligation?  Because there is an opportunity?  Because someone else wants me to say yes?

I say yes even when I shouldn’t.  And then I feel angry.  I feel depleted.  When an opportunity arises that I truly want, I have to pass because all of these other things are filling that space.   It isn’t just the time either, it’s the space in my head that doesn’t let me fall asleep at night because I’m already working on the next thing or worrying about someone or wondering why things can’t be different.  I feel emotionally and physically exhausted.  It hurts my relationship with Dave.  My children don’t have my full attention.  The three most important things in this world shouldn’t be set aside. 

You know who is absolutely last on the list?  Me. 

As much as I would love to be everything to everyone and seize every opportunity set in front of me, it’s not realistic.  I don’t enjoy the people and the experiences I’m in this very moment if my head is elsewhere.

I’m practicing my no.

Earlier this week, I read a great post by Alexandra Franzen about how to say no to everything ever.  If you’re a person who has a hard time saying no also, I highly suggest you give it a read.   

5 comments:

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

I hear you. I say yes to everything and then wonder why I'm so busy! I love that article about how to say no to everything. So great to have a script for that sort of thing!

I went on a hiatus from theatre last year, stepped off our college young alumni board and gradually phased out some other commitments. It allowed me to spend time with my husband and enjoy his last year of law school. I'm hoping to do more of that when he starts his job!

It's good to say no because of what it allows us to do instead.

Bunny @ 86n It said...

I don't feel like I have a problem saying no. Maybe because I like being busy or maybe because people don't ask me for things?

Just A Normal Mom said...

I desperately need to learn this little two letter word...

Sara @ Russet Street Reno said...

Yes, saying no is hard. I've been saying no to blogging! But I don't actually feel good about it.

SnoopyMeg said...

I think I have the opposite problem....I say no ALL the time! I am such a hard ass....I like MY time!

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