There Are Days.

13 January 2010
There are days when I'm quite sure that the neighbors think I am killing my child because he screams at the top of his lungs until he is hoarse.  Days when he wakes up at 7:15 am and neither of us has had enough sleep. 

He is two, I keep reminding myself as I cancel lunch plans to accomodate the crazies.

Days when I haven't had enough coffee.  Days when I stick him in his bed and attempt to ignore the insanity & pray he falls asleep.  Days when I know that only a nap will help.

He is two, I remind myself as I walk out of the room, take a deep breath and try to bring my blood pressure down.

Days when he is so overwhelmed with emotion & mental exhaustion that he doesn't know how to not jump and thump and scream.  Days when my husband is out of town and I don't have a break at lunch or 5:00... or at all.

He is two, I murmur to myself while making a second cup of coffee and doubt if I am made for this.

And then, there is blissful silence and I know he's getting the rest he needs.  I know in my head that when he wakes up he will be a different child, he will find me and snuggle me and be my sweet boy.  It doesn't take the sting away of knowing that I yelled at him when I should have remained calm.  Now though, I have a moment to myself, to regroup.  To sit and hear nothing but the traffic whizzing by.  People going home for lunch, going back to work.  And I remember how lucky I am that I get the privelege of watching him grow before my very eyes.

Even on those days.  Especially on those days.


SugarBritches said...

Oh honey, so well written. It is so hard to slow down, to watch, to be calm. But we must and we know this. They are only 2 for such a short time and we are so lucky and so blessed to be their caretakers. Hugs to you. Kisses to Finn.

Slip some Baileys in that coffee and it will be all better.

Michelle said...

And Ash, this is why you're my bloggy bff. For the kind words, but mostly for the Baileys suggestion. Love ya.

michele said...

you could not have written this on a better day for me. i was quite sure the entire neighborhood heard my two-year-old screaming hysterically this morning because we were running late to get his sister to school and "no sam, you can't have a powdered donette right NOW, as soon as we get home you can" wasn't good enough. and then proceeded to cry so hard he threw up his entire sippy-cup of orange juice he had just drank. all by 8:20 in the morning. and that is pretty much how our ENTIRE day went.

Michelle said...

Oh Michele, I love that you feel my pain. Puking before 9 am is not allowed in our house. Ha! Here is hoping for a better day tomorrow!

SnoopyMeg said...

So glad to know other peoples children are just as "normal" as mine....ugh well said!!

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