The Davester and I have the seven year itch. While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my most favorite bloggers in the world and their husbands to share some words on marriage. Enjoy!
I met Megan from Crazy Bananas through an Alt class. She and her husband Trent live in Kansas City with their two kids. Weirdly, she and my sister in law have the exact same name AND she has a son named Tate! She blogs about life and style and family and fashion. She is artsy and funny and I’m totally smitten with her blog.
How many years have you been a couple and who liked who first?
We've been together 10 years, since sophomore year in college, but we've known each other since grade school. We're from the same hometown, and a few years into dating we found a journal of mine from 6th grade that detailed an encounter during a skating rink trip where I met a cute boy named Trent. After some random questioning, we realized that it was my Trent! Craziness. We also technically may have run into each other in preschool, as we both have confirmed being at several swim parties at the same time, but we don't remember each other. We "really" met in high school, where we both liked each other, but were dating other people so it didn't work out. Instead we teased each other during our marine biology class and mercilessly flirted while pretending we couldn't stand each other. A few years later we ran into each other at a college party and the stars finally aligned.
What has being married taught you?
He Said - Being married has taught me to be more patient and about the importance of companionship. We're both sort of geeky loners, but it's nice having someone who is always there for you, regardless.
She Said - Being married has taught me to be more understanding and more kind. I can be sort of judgmental and Trent has taught me to try and look at all sides of the story before I freak out. He's also taught me the importance of a clean home, checked luggage and getting into a bit of trouble. I am a total rule follower, and being married to him has taught me to take some risks now and then. Oh, and learn how to make a mean egg breakfast sandwich. It's the way to a man's heart.
What is the most fun thing you've ever done together?
Wow, there are too many to count! We've been together through some major life changes (college, graduation, responsible adults, marriage, kids) and the fun is all relative to where we are in our lives. The most recent fun thing we did was go to New York City for four days. It was our first trip with just the two of us since our daughter was born six years ago, and I had forgotten how fun we are together when we're not coordinating work schedules and nap schedules and after school activities. We slept in, went to museums, attended a broadway show, ate tons of good food and just basically enjoyed each other. It was wonderful! But really, we have the most fun when we're in our sweats, goofing off at home with the kids. We're homebodies and we're pretty okay with that!
How do you resolve issues? Do you ever go to bed angry?
We actually do go to bed angry, which I know isn't what all the "experts" tell couples to do. I, in particular, need space when I'm angry and Trent is a very convincing debater, so when we're in a heated argument, I usually need to leave the room and gather myself before he convinces me my argument is totally invalid. Sometimes that means going to bed angry. But we have much better discussions when we've both had a chance to cool down and think rationally, instead of saying things in the moment that we'll regret later. I should preface that statement with the fact that it took us a LONG TIME to figure that out. Lots of slammed doors, storming out of the house and angry threats were thrown about before we learned it was okay to step away and take a breath. Trent and I started dating when I was 19 years old (my god, I was a BABY!) so we've really grown into our maturity together, and that greatly influences how we resolve issues.
What is the secret to a happy marriage?
He Said - Let things go. Enjoy the person you're married to. Breakfast sandwiches (they show me that she loves me). Wine. But seriously, a healthy relationship is one where you've probably been through some major things together, stuck it out, and that makes you stronger.
She Said - Remember the first moment you knew you loved that person, and refuse to let that moment fade away. Grope each other whenever the opportunity presents itself. Remember love is an action, not just a feeling, and by actively loving someone, you'll feel love. I got that last one from a self help book...probably written by Bethany Frankel. Don't judge. Okay, that's my last tip. Don't judge! Your wife may watch the E! Network and have science fiction movie marathons. Your husband may spend hours on video games that make absolutely no sense. Just take it all in and love them anyway.