Mending Fences or Arms… Same Difference.

29 June 2012

If you’ve been reading So Wonderful, So Marvelous for any length of time, you’ll know that my husband, Dave is always doing something ridiculous.

My least favorite was the time he cut off the tip of his thumb.

So you know, when I tell you that he jumped our neighbor’s fence that there is a story coming…

He jumped our neighbor’s fence.

First, let me say, that we love our neighbors.  They are wonderful and funny and some of our favorite people in the world.  Bea called and asked me to look across the street for any signs of weirdness because she had gotten a call that their alarm was going off and she was out of town.  So, I glanced, didn’t see anything and told her I’d ask Dave to run over and give it a quick look.  Sometimes their dogs manage to trip the alarm.

Dave walks over there in sandals and without a bat.  Now, I’m no Spiderman and neither is he, but those seem like two highly unintelligent moves if you’re potentially going to be fighting a masked dog bandit.  Right?

He peeks at the front door, nothing out of the ordinary.  He peeks at the side door, nothing out of the ordinary.  And then he takes a peek at the backyard for good measure where he can’t fully see the back door.

Now, a little digression if you will allow it, there is a pool in the backyard, so the gate on the fence is padlocked at all times.  To keep out neighbors like Dave.

So what does my 32 year old husband do?  He decides to jump the fence.  Just to check it out.

Jump.

A.

Fence.

And proceeds to go over the fence in a manner unbecoming the 18 year old that he believes himself to be.  His shoe goes flying.  And he lands, for all intents and purposes, on his face.   He claims that instead of breaking his fall with his hands, he decided to pull his arms into his body, you know… so he didn’t break anything.

Clearly, that worked.

Dave is Broken.

My favorite part of the whole mess is the stares and comments he gets when out in public. There was the grocery clerk who told him he should have the sling on the other arm, until he explained that both arms were broken. There was the old man at the farmer’s market who asked him if he was playing hockey and told him about breaking his nose seven times when he was about Dave’s age. And let’s not forget the four year old who kept pointing and telling his grandma, “look at HIS boo boo!”

The stares, people… dear God the stares.

16 comments:

Katie said...

Oh. Em. Gee. I'm speechless.

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

OH NO! I can't believe he busted both arms!!!! But um, that should teach him to act his age, eh?

I feel like our husbands could get into a lot of trouble together.

Noelle said...

Oh dear! How did he get back over the fence once he was in there and busted himself?

Kim Moore said...

Poor Davester... He was being neighborly the bast way he could think of...All men think they are INVINCIBLE

bea said...

Noelle, that was my question! Adrenalin?

Dave, we are forever grateful (and we feel guilty) for your sacrifice. :)

Yostee said...

WOW!! I wondered what ever happened to him!!!! That totally sucks!!!!!!!!
However, I must say, he's the kind of neighbor I would want - one that goes balls to the wall when someone may be in trouble. I am sure this will be a neighborhood story that goes on for decades.

AnnMarie said...

I'd really like to think that the Davester had some Chinese throwing stars in his pocket and that's why he didn't need a bat.

seriouslysassymama.com said...

This is perfect. That picture is priceless. I always worry that this is going to happen to my husband.

Anonymous said...

Um, You should drink alot, go to a Swanton party, and then have Dave show up. I was dying. I felt so bad, but he is so funny!
Kelly

C Barnes said...

He's still smiling...so that makes Dave AWESOME! :)

Kelly said...

Look at that accomplished smile! Way to go Dave...you were brave..dumb, but brave. Rest up those arms! =0)

Just A Normal Mom said...

O-M-G!! Can I be honest? The first place my brain went was "What about all the 'husband' chores that need to be done?!" LOL

Wow, just wow. Of course, then my brain went to "OH, that must have HURT so BAD!" So I do have a little compassion :)

Anonymous said...

What a total major bummer. One is bad enough, but a break on each arm is unbelievable! Looks like you'll be spending some quality time with Dave this summer. We wish Dave a speedy recovery!
Aunt Linda

Jessica @ TheCrazyChaoticHouse said...

I read this the other day and totally forgot to comment. All I can say is......OMG!!!!!!! Poor dude!!! How long is he out of commission for? 6 weeks or so?

Emily said...

This makes me laugh SO hard.

The Zookeeper said...

I don't know you, but I "found" your blog tonight, and I am laughing and crying at the same time while reading many of your posts. This one, in particular, is hilarious! 3 years ago, my genius husband, a former BMX bike racing champion in his childhood, decided to pop a wheelie on a bike ride in Hilton Head, totally showing off to my entire family. Well, he popped it too far back, landed hard on his ass and BROKE his tailbone, all b/c he was wearing new "fancy" bike shoes that were clipped into his pedals, and he didn't get them out in time to catch his fall. "You're not 16 anymore, honey."

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