Don’t Mess With Kevin Bacon.

03 June 2011

There are some movies that are just icons, movies that you just don’t screw with.  They are generation defining.  There can be no other.

Either they are SO bad that they are good, spurring a cult like following, think Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Or they capture a point in your life so amazingly well that you can’t imagine not having their awesomeness to relive over and over again, think pretty much everything made by John Hughes in the 1980s.  Movies that you can utter a few little words to your friends, “nobody puts Baby in the corner,” and  I’ve had the time of my life begins playing through your head.  You’re singing it right now, aren’t you and imagining yourself saying something stupid like, “I carried a watermelon,” to the Patrick Swayze of your dreams?


Call me a curmudgeon, but does this current generation have a Grease or a Saturday Night Fever or Jaws?  No?  How about a Top Gun, or maybe a Goonies, or The Breakfast Club?  No, no they don’t.

Will you take a look at this

You read that right.  If you’re screaming, “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!” in rage at the computer screen right now, it’s justified. 

They re-made Footloose. 

The prom with the twinkly lights and the ceiling full of stars.  The sneaking off to the bar behind Reverend Moore’s back.  Ren teaching Willard to dance to the tune of Let’s Hear It for the BoyRe-made it.


Who thought this was a good idea?  Fess up, you dirty bastard.  Who, because I want to give them a quick punch to the testicles.

Go on, see up there in the right hand corner of my screen?  Click that little Facebook ‘share’ button on this one and see if you don’t have anyone over thirty pissed off at the sheer idiocy at the thought of ever replacing the real Footloose.

I mean if they remade Breakfast at Tiffany’s, who could play Holly?  No one like Audrey.  No one.

Isn’t it enough that LiLo went and screwed up my beloved The Parent Trap?  I’m sure we can all agree that Johnny Depp is in fact, not the real Willy Wonka.  And Vince Vaughn in Psycho is laughable!  Re-makes generally suck.  The ONLY one I can think of off the top of my head that doesn’t suck is Oceans Eleven and I half think it’s because of the hot factor.  Face it, even Bernie Mac is hot in that movie being a bad ass.  Those boys did the Rat Pack proud.

But this?  This?  You don’t mess with Risky Business, you don’t try to re-create Cool Hand Luke, there are no knock-offs that can ever replace the Duckiness of Jon Cryer in Pretty in Pink.  And you don’t fuck with Kevin Bacon. 

Everybody Footloose.



Anonymous said...

AMEN!!! Totally agree, it's a crime and disgusting.

Shannon said...


Tricia said...

Amen sister! What's next? A Ferris Bueller re-make? I just don't get it!

Valene Marie said...

OHMYGOSH! Why, why, why mess with the classics :(
No one can compare to such great movie legends and actors!

Two Normal Moms said...

Why, why, why, why, why????? There's no need to remake it. I'm at a loss for words - except I WILL NOT WATCH IT. I'm disheartened. Disappointed. Horrified. Pissed. It's not like Kevin Bacon's dead for crying out loud!
Are they going to remake Top Gun, too?
(The only remake I love is Thomas Crown Affair - the rest suck.)

Laura said...

Oh HELL no! No re-make can ever top the original prom scene. Period.

Stitchfork said...

Agree! What, have they run out of new ideas and can only re-do what's been?
Cathy -- via Jacolyn Murphy's place as I too remember the Bobsey Twins!

Noelle said...

Seriously, is this what we've come to? People have run out of GOOD ideas so they're coming up with the BAD idea of remaking an already great movie? I know they say imitation is the biggest form of flattery but this is just a waste!

Yostee said...

I have been saying this ever since I heard the Black Eyed Peas use "The Time of My Life" remixed into one of their songs - let the damn classics alone!!! They are classics for a reason!!! And from looking at the picture on IMBD, it looks like it may be more of a cross of Footloose and Pretty Woman!!!! Ugh! I hope it flops worse that Mariah Carey's Glitter!!!

Mommy Lisa said...

They had a super hard time keeping someone in the Kevin Bacon role - I was sure it would not get made. Sucks.

Anonymous said...

I loved Willard.

the cape on the corner said...

this is cracking me up. first i must admit that i...well, i don't even remember footloose. i know the basic premise and dancing and kicking up heels and kevin bacon skanking in the school gym, but as a child i did not know this. i don't even think i have seen the whole movie, i might just know it b/c these are the things that are referenced. i knew the songs, mind you, because my mother had the tape.

not in the same time line or anything, but i can not handle the remake or the sequel or whatever to one of my favorite movies, the cutting edge. now THAT is a classic. toe pick! said...

I love it! It is a sad day, sad day, when there is nothing left in hollywood that they have to start messing with our classics.

Foof4e said...

You tickle me. (& Yes. It is an abomination.)

Dawn said...

I can't believe this!! I was upset when they remade the Parent Trap, but this is too far. Sad :(

Stacy Kaye said...

Agreed...totally agreed. It's too bad that they can't come up with anything for this are totally right. What will they see as their E.T. or their Flashdance?? Sooo sad. I can't believe it. I'm sure they totally screwed it up in the process.

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

I hadn't heard about this remake yet. Seriously. Why do they have to mess with the classics? The screenwriters need to come up with something original - then this generation can have its own awesome movies. Ugh.

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