If Kay Jewelry is on your list of wants this Valentine’s Day, we can’t be friends.

09 February 2011

I apologize in advance if this post makes any of you want to hurl.  I had to choke back the gagging as I was writing it.  I couldn’t even re-watch the commercial to make fun of it.

Do people REALLY buy this shit?  I am pretty sure I’d quicker buy something “diamonique” off the shopping channel than to waste perfectly good cash on crap from Kay.  Or any of the mall jewelry stores.  Call me a snob, but WHY would you want one of the hideous twisted heart things that a washed up tv star is peddling?  I don’t get it.

I thought the ‘storm’ commercial was bad {play at your own risk} but last night it was topped by a monstrosity that isn’t even up on YouTube yet.  Maybe you’ve seen it?  I like to call it, TEAPOT.  It’s cringeworthy.

Allow me to set the scene for you:

A man & woman are talking about their first Valentine’s Day together.  He buys her a teapot {for one} that she is apparently pissed about.  He vows never to buy her another teapot.  Ever.  Flash forward three years… and you guessed it!  Another teapot only this time, hidden inside is a P.O.S. piece of jewelry from Kay.  She loves it.

Fess up, do you have one of the hideous twisted hearts?  Would you ever buy one?  Do you feel like Kay Jewelers believes that their target market are a bunch of fucking idiots?  For the LOVE of all retail therapy, I can not WAIT for Valentine’s Day to be over just for the hope that these commercials will go away.

24 comments:

Samantha said...

I'm so guilty. Almost all my jewelry is Kay. I do not however have one of the twisty heart necklaces. Nor do I plan on getting one. And their commercials drive me insane. Especially the one about the guy in the army. Its a great concept, but the fact that it looks like the same guy that played in Red Dragon, it really creeps me out.

As for V-day? I would much rather have a massage or be able to eat a warm meal without toddler fingers in it than jewelry.

Misc Momma said...

HAHAHA. Ok. Not sure if you'll be blocking me after this, but I do own something from Kay Jewelers. I told my husband I wanted a big flat emerald ring years ago. He got me something similar (it is pretty, but not what I imagined in my head). HOWEVER, when some jewelry commercial was on the other day (likely Kay), I was thinking how glad I was that my husband wasn't one of those guys who defaulted to buying random pieces of jewelry for me for holidays. He actually buys me (non-jewelry) stuff that I ask for. I am definitely not a fan of all that heart jewelry. Or those charm bracelets. Oh no. I might own something else from Kay... My mom got me a bevel set diamond necklace. The ones everyone had about ten years ago...

Bunny @ 86n It said...

Oh you mean the boobs and butt necklaces? That shizz makes Marc loose it laughing every single time. It totally is boobs and a butt.
That storm commercial at first made me hurl, but now it ticks me off. Are we women so stupid?
I can't even bring myself to try to look up the teapot one. It would ruin my day.

Bunny @ 86n It said...

*lose it

but "loose it" does conjure up a better metal image.

Ashlee's Annals said...

Don't let go....EVER. LOL I'm proud to say I own nothing from Kay. It should also be said that I don't really wear jewelry though. Oh that commercial is killing me! i'll for sure show my husband when he gets home from work tonight!

the cape on the corner said...

those things are asses! butts. derierres. i don't want a fricking butt around my neck, or on my finger, or anywhere. how can they sell those things with a straight face?! the storm commercial is the cheesiest thing, but i can't stand the one where they are ice skating? and she's presented with this jewelry, and she practically falls over-they have to do a closeup of her skates so we really "get" it. you know that one? ugh!

Sugar Mama said...

My entire family laughs at the storm commercial. Even my 8 year old daughter rolls her eyes at it. No, I don't buy into it. And I don't expect my husband to buy me jewelry for Valentine's day.

Rachel said...

I think it looks like boobs and a booty. I'd never wear one. When we got married, I told my hubby that my engagement ring was plenty of jewelry for me, and I'm actually finding that to be true! I like the idea of jewelry more than the execution.

Mommy Lisa said...

Yes - I HATE The Valentine's Day B.S. commercials ALMOST as much as I despise the Christmas car commercials. :P

Anonymous said...

I do not have any jewelry from Kay. I think my taste in jewelry is more personal. I do not like to buy things that the bulk of the world can have. I like things that the design touches me in some way or are of high quality. I do not think we need to bulk up what we have, I think we need to have quality in our lives. People who buy from bulk are just filling their lives with junk. No personal thing against mall jewelry stores or malls themselves. Notice I did not mention any brands, well okay, for purses I prefer leather and I carry Brahmin most of the time. -Margaret www.theparentplan.com

Tawny said...

Unfortunately my wedding ring is from Kay's and after the crap we went through regarding my main stone I vowed never to shop there again. However I did get a free upgrade and when we had the ring professionally appraised we realized we totally SCORED.

Ruth said...

No way would I wear the 'open heart' crap. It's tits and ass to me.

Missy said...

All jewelry commercials are stupid! My husband does not act this way...

Jessica @ Acting Adult said...

This is why I have a DVR. I don't watch commercials. There's nothing at Kay that I particular enjoy - just not my tastes. But their commercials are kind of atrocious.

eric at my First Garage.com said...

As a guy, I'd never go to one of those Mall Jewelry stores. Instead, there are several local shops that I can go to and no matter what I buy there, my wife will love it. Think Anthropologie meets flower shop. Those kind of stores!

belles♥mom said...

Oh damn and here I was wishing Jonald would hop on over and buy me a shitty piece of jewelry to symbolize his manly strong embrace.....{gagging} But seriously I do know someone with the whole T&A collection (we're talking earrings, necklace & a ring)she loves it so more power to her but I really would have to question my husbands sanity if he ever came home with something like that. We'll stick to our jewelry store where there's no icky commercials and the guys remember you by name!

Melissa said...

This is the best post ever---I tell Sean all the time that if he ever buys me any crappy jewelry with hearts and flowers on it we will be over. That jewelry is for guys who can't think outside the box, and apparently want to make their girlfriend/spouse vomit. Ugh, it sort of makes me gag just thinking about it.

Stacy Kaye said...

But Michelle, every KISS begins with KAY! UGH! Ha ha! Kev hasn't bought me much jewelry, but that's because he refuses to buy me something that isn't the best. Seriously, I have received my rings, and two pairs of earrings from him. Some day he plans to buy me a diamond necklace, but I will gladly wait for it, knowing it will be the good stuff! At this point in my life I would rather have a vacation or something anyway! As for Valentine's Day period...we just don't buy into it. He is SO good at consistently showing me his love and care that I simply don't need it!

To address the actual jewelry, twisted hearts? Really? What happened to the simple solitaire?

Two Normal Moms said...

No way. Can't stand those commercials either. And I don't want to wear a piece of jewelry that thousands of other lame husbands defaulted to when they didn't know what to buy!! There's one with some gawd-awful ugly bracelet -there was one for Christmas and there's one for V-Day, can't remember which company, but I told Hubs he better NEVER think that would be a good idea. So now he always jokes that he's buying me the bracelet. Gah! (Gosh I hope no one reading this has that bracelet!!!!) ;-)
-Ally

Holly said...

I love your sense of humor...I would prefer Kay over a Vermont Teddy Bear! I own very little "fine" jewelry. I told me hubby I would rather have one thing (which I got) than a bunch of POS - he listened.

Melanie {The Tiny Tudor} said...

Agreed. Generic 99.99 heart pendants from mall jewelry stores for Valentine's day make me depressed.

Courtney said...

Thank you for making me laugh out loud in the coffee shop. Now all the people are looking at me like I'm crazy. You crack me up.

Meg said...

I detest Kay and any other jewelry store that tries to sell an annual necklace every year for Christmas or Valentine's Day.

In addition to being hideous and unimaginative, I can't comprehend wanting to own (or wanting my husband to give me, for that matter) a piece of jewelry that thousands of other people are receiving at the same time. I'd much prefer a cute teapot! But for their shallow target audience,I guess nothing says sentimental like generic.

And don't get me wrong. I absolutely know the power of accessories or "accoutrements," as I like to call them, but they sure don't come from mall jewelry stores. I'm more of a chunky turqoise necklace girl myself.

Anonymous said...

Cmon, you gotta love their lack of integrity. For each holiday they have another piece of crap to sell the gullible. Whenever one of their commercials oozes off the screen, I threaten my wife that this time I'm grabbing the credit card and rushing off to the mall to get her the "crap of the season." she tells me to save it for my girlfriend Trixie.

Post a Comment

Thanks so much for taking the time to add your thoughts! Comments are moderated, so if they don't get published immediately, don't despair.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
*