Can we talk Halloween candy today?
Remember when you were a kid and you would hit the trick-or-treat jackpot with the house that handed out full size candy bars? If I had a boatload of cash and a house that didn’t get 500 kids, I would totally be that house.
If nothing else, I’m pretty sure the look on Dave’s face when I tell him I spent $250 on Halloween candy would make it worth it. Oh sure, there are the kids’ happy faces too, but really it’s all about screwing with Dave.
Dude, it’s not like I’m the house handing out pennies or crappy fake Tootsie Rolls. I hand out the good stuff, it’s just in the fun size.
I’m pretty sure a ‘funner size’ would be full size, but I digress.
I’ve avoided buying any because inevitably what happens in our house is a month before Halloween, we buy 25 pounds of chocolate. Between Dave and I having a snack or two here and there, it’s gone by the time Halloween rolls around. So this year, we just decided to hold off… and by we, I mean I did.
Dave would like nothing more than to snack on a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup or an Almond Joy. Seriously, what kind of weirdo lists Almond Joy as their favorite Halloween candy? It’s like I married a communist.
I think he only loves Almond Joy because I don’t have the heart to hand one to a three year old in a Little Bo Peep costume. I save those for the asshole teenagers who slap on a werewolf mask and trick-or-treat long past their prime, so there are always a ton left over.
The little bug usually chooses something fruity. Gummy things, Skittles, and Smarties are amongst his favorites.
Me? Heath, m&ms, and Butterfinger top my list.
So, what are your faves? And what do you hand out?