Today is my anniversary.
Not my wedding anniversary.
Not my bloggaversary.
Or the anniversary of my birth.
It's more important than that.
Four years ago, I quit smoking.
Even typing that, I have to stop and let it soak in.
It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. And there are some moments it still is...
Mostly, I have to say that now, I don't even remember who I was as a smoker. And I like that, but it took a long time to get there. It's much better than the first year, when I didn't know who I was as a non-smoker. I smoked for ten years, pretty much all of my adult life. I had to find my way. And the doubt crept in daily whether I could even do it.
So, so, so many times I had tried before. I think I had to quit fifteen or so times before I did it for real. Persistance pays off. Try... even if you have tried twenty times before. It's worth it.
Gradually, my clothes started to smell like fabric softener. My hair smelled like shampoo. My car didn't smell like an ashtray. Little victories pushed me on. Running up a flight of stairs and not being winded. Colds not lasting for weeks. And the money... I am now $1500 richer EVERY YEAR.
Most importantly, I'm glad that Finn has never known me as a smoker. I don't want him to ever think it's ok, or for it to even be on his radar. I did it for me, you'll never make it if you're doing it for someone else... but on those rare days or moments when it's tough, I stick with it for him.
So today, I'm doing a little celebrating because y'all I'm a non-smoker and I'm pretty sure, that is worth shouting from the rooftops.