Dave: How about we take 40 back to Lexington? It’s the scenic route…
Me: Because four and a half hours in the car with those maniacs is enough and we have to do it again tomorrow? Adding any more time to that is nuts.
Me: I’ll do it if you really want to, but dude…
Dave: No, you’re right.
So it was decided that we’d take 75 like normal human beings. Until we stopped for a great lunch in Knoxville and we temporarily lost our minds.
Orangina, sweet tea, and crepes will do that to you.
Half an hour later…
Dave: Remember when I was talking about 40. This is where it would have met up.
Me: Oh, cool.
Dave: If we get off here, we can go through the mountain in this huge tunnel. I was looking at it on maps last night. Then it will meet back up with 75.
Me: I mean, if it’s not super far off the route, I don’t care. Do you really want to do it?
Dave: It’s a little longer. It’s an adventure.
Google Navigation: Pull up to blah blah blah road and make a U-Turn
Google Navigation: Pull up to blah blah blah road 2 and make a U-Turn
Me: Ha ha ha. D, I think it wants us to make a U-Turn. You know where you’re going, right?
Google Navigation: make a U-Turn here
Dave: Yeah, it’s fine. It’ll re-calculate soon.
Google Navigation: MAKE a U-Turn
Dave: You could turn the voice off.
Google Navigation: For the love of God, turn your asses around, you will never survive this. *only a slight exaggeration*
We finally pull onto this slightly small road and it finally re-calculates the route.
Me: ok… hey wait… D? We don’t have cell service.
Dave: Yeah, Michelle. We’re in the middle of nowhere. It’s scenic.
Me: Um, we stay on this road, right? Because I just lost the GPS signal.
Dave: HOW do you lose a GPS signal on the top of a mountain?
Me: And why are we on the top of a mountain, where is the tunnel???
Forty-five minutes of hairpin turns and car sickness and really really scary scary ‘houses’ in the middle of nowhere later… we are talking straight Deliverance here, no way we are stopping anywhere. Also? I’m not quite sure what the entire yard full of weird looking cages/traps was about…
So, Dave is apologizing profusely, we have not been through a tunnel, and I’m sick, sending several panicked texts to my sister and Nikki when we FINALLY hooked back up with both a GPS signal and with 75.
I’ve never been so happy to see a highway in my life.
And for your viewing pleasure, I shot a video for you about fifteen minutes in… you know, before I wanted to vomit repeatedly all over the car. It was mostly because I could see someone finding all our bodies somewhere and I wanted evidence that it was all Dave’s fault. This right here is a good indication of how weird we both are, Dave’s fake southern accent is a bonus for your benefit because I assured him I’d be putting this on the internet.