Pet Peeves

30 March 2011

I am a self professed freak about certain things.  And today I am letting my freak flag fly.

My pet peeve list runs deep.  I’d rather be known for all eternity as the freak who can’t stand close talkers than to deal with you breathing down my neck.  So back it up.  That’s right, get your stinky hot breath off of me or I will punch you in the junk.

Ask me to not wash all the underwear in the house separately, on the hottest water setting and I will flip out.  {Yeah, that one came after my friend Stace attended a conference and told us all the nasty bits from underwear that are spread throughout your clothes.  You need the hottest water possible for that not to happen.  Freaked me the hell out, so all underwear separately on hot water it is.} 

And along those same lines, don’t ever let me catch you not washing your hands after you use the bathroom.  We would probably cease being friends, being unsanitary and spreading your bodily fluids to other stuff people touch?   You, my friend, are just disgusting.

There can be a giant pile of dirty clothes on our bedroom floor, but the hangers in every closet have to be facing the same way and so do the clothes. 

Liars & hypocrites.  Oh, that is a big one!  Not only do you bug me, but I can’t trust a single thing you say. 

Don’t chew with your mouth open, smack your lips, lick your fingers {unless you’re eating hot wings} and PLEASE no disgusting table manners.  For reals, if we have eaten together and you do any of these things, there is a mental list in my head that says Will NOT Be Invited For Dinner Ever and you are on it.

Dave’s ‘thing’ is the toilet paper.  It has to be on the holder in an over position… sometimes I switch it just to screw with him. 

His shirts have to be folded only by him… in thirds, then again in thirds… that one is a holdover from his military days.  I don’t have the patience and I don’t do it right, so he happily does it himself. 

He’s also a hand washing freak much worse than I.  Just TRY to put something sticky on his hands and he’ll be at the sink scrubbing away faster than you can blink.  Did I mention we have an almost four year old boy???  Do you realize the amount of sticky shit he gets into?

So fess up, what’s your biggest pet peeve??  Pen clicking?  Improper grammar?  Someone who puts one swig of orange juice back in the fridge?  Gum chewing?  Slow drivers?  People that are constantly late?  People who talk on the phone in restaurants?  People with long pet peeve lists? 

Spill it!


Jenn Jacobs said...

You are cracking me up. And honestly, you and I are living the same life this week. Yesterday, I read your post about making your own pizza, when that is exactly what we did on Monday night and then this morning while getting ready, I was thinking of a pet peeve of mine and thinking I might need to facebook it. Then I see this post. Hilarious!
My PP is this - if we are engaged in a conversation, please do not, do not get sidetracked by something else. I work with someone who either walks away or starts talking to someone else during almost every single one of our conversations. Drives me absolutely batty! And then, never fails, she has no idea what I said to her and she is calling me and asking stupid questions later. ugh!!!!

Bunny @ 86n It said...

I'm with you on the after bathroom hand washing. Do it or you are disgusting.
I'm much much more lax about everything else, but you already know this, you saw how I feed Franca. HA! Bet you were just dying that lunch! ;)
Anyway, I've been trying to lighten up lately, and not give in to any OCD indulgences. Life is too sort to be so annoyed! The only one I let myself have is when people don't know where they are. How can you not know where north is? How can you be in a building, talking about another location and point in the complete wrong direction?? Mostly it bugs me when other architects do this because we are by nature such spatial people.

Michelle said...

Ha Bun, I do not know north from a hole in my ass, which uhhh would be south, right?

And the feeding thing totally doesn't bug me at all... it's just random weird stuff that bothers me.

Bridget said...

I cannot be sticky. HATE IT. I'm a crazy hand washer, too. Especially with new (foster) dogs in the house. I don't even realize I do it, but it's pet, pet, pet, wash hands. Pet, pet, wash hands. Give a treat, wash hands.

Surely, the hubby could come up with 10,000 more of my pet peeves, but these are the big ones.

the cape on the corner said...

ha, i loved this! the boyfriend is with dave on the toilet paper thing, which i never noticed til we lived together. my biggest pet peeve is feet on the dashboard. as in just seeing it in someone else's car gets me all riled up and grossed out. i also get peeved by friends who insist they are right about things i believe i'm right about-like movies. i am the person who goes right to to show you that you're wrong, lol. or traffic-when i wave someone on, or let them come into my lane and they don't even wave back or something to thank me? on my shit list then. i fully admit that i get annoyed easily, so...

Meg said...

I'll post the short list here because otherwise I just sound like a bitch because right now THERE IS A LOT OF SHIT that gets on my nerves.

1. People who think they know more than anyone else. Ass hats.
2. People who cough or sneeze without covering their mouth. (or nasty sneeze in their hand and start touching shit.)
3. People who expect you to do things for them because they believe at some point in their life someone gave them a "I'm better than everyone" pass and it has no expiration date.
4. People who don't GO when the LIGHT turns GREEN.
5. Husbands that don't turn their shirts right side out when they throw them in the laundry but expect the shirts to be right side out when they are folded and put away.

Okay. I seriously could go on forever.

Anonymous said...

You are just too funny. I think we would be GREAT friends if we live close enough.....we are so much a like, course does that mean we would HATE each other? Regardless love your daily thoughts!


tiffany said...

People who chew with their mouths open, actually listening to people chew their food, swallowing loudly (something my husband does every single time he takes a drink), poor grammar, bad manners and sand stuck on my wet feet.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"
Dead silence.

Lyndsey said...

Sisters that blab personal stuff on the net LMAO J/K... Seriously, people who talk meanly to someone- there is just no reason to be mean I can't stand when a person is just plain mean to a server or someone at the check out...OOOOOHH someone who just walks in front of me and cuts me off, REALLY ya can't see me standing/walking there? If ya say excue me I will gladly let you pass. I am totally that person who will "accidently" ram my cart into your ankle or talk really loudly behind you on how rude and what a jerk you are.(I am a tad passive aggresive LOL).... and last but not least people who drive in the passing lane. It doesn't matter if there is no other cars or not, the left lane is for PASSING people! NOT traveling.

Katie said...

It absolutely drives me nuts when people (ahem, my husband) clinks their teeth with fork/spoon/whatever when they're taking a bite of food. Not sure if it's because I have sensitive teeth or because I hate the feeling when I accidentally do it, but the noise is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

Katie said...

Oh, and when you hold the door for someone at a store or whatever and they don't say thank you or even acknowledge the fact that you're standing there holding the door open while juggling a toddler, diaper bag and purse. A.N.N.O.Y.I.N.G. I always make sure to yell "YOU'RE WELCOME!" after them.

Jessica @ Wanting Adventure said...

I think I have ok table manners but I'm not sure I'd be invited back to your house! I'd be so worried! :) Pet peeves are those driving slow in the fast lane - grrr.

Unknown said...

Oh my, pet peeves are a never ending list!!!

1) People that talk loudly on cell phones in public
2) Bad drivers
3) People that brag about the things they bought with a credit card and they don't own any of it
4) When people don't move their carts out of the way in a busy supermarket
5) People that chew with their mouth open
6) Welfare recipients in California
7) People that don't pay taxes and get 5 grand back
8) Drivers that don't use blinkers
9) Heavy breathers when eating
10) My husband leaving all his electronics wires all over so I trip on them
11) And yes, the toilet paper roll must go over ;)

There are many more pet peeves too!

Unknown said...

i think i might be making one of these lists as well! lol

Anonymous said...

People who clip their nails on public transportation. Unacceptable.


Janine said...

Oh this could take a while.......

Emily said...

People who chew with their mouths open, people who chew gum while being videotaped/broadcast, the husband using my towel on one of the boys after their bath, cupboards being left open, people who pass you on the highway and then slow down as soon as they're in front of you, and so many, many more.

Maris (In Good Taste) said...

This is a great post. I love all these comments and agree with many!!!

@JessEsco said...

Separate washing of the undies. Interesting...

Oh woman, you know my pet peeve list would fill up this entire webpage. As much as I try to be nice and tolerant, ugh.

1) The people who get on the elevator and take it ONE floor above or below. Lazy asses. Take the stairs. I'm knocked up and don't even take the el one floor.

2) Shitty drivers who drive shitty and slow and can't merge.

3) People who stink. Literally.

4) People biting their nails. I will put my hand up to hide my eyes and turn away. Of course, not obviously but I do it.

Just A Normal Mom said...

People who chew gum and are completely incapable of talking around it without smacking it and rolling it around in their mouth so they sound like they have a fist in their mouth while they talk. URGH. (can you tell I talked to someone like that today??)

Drivers. Pretty much all other drivers. It's been a long day.

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