Real Moms.

23 February 2012

We’ve had a rough week here.  It’s never just a typical rough week, everything that can explode at once, does.  I suppose it’s a blessing and a curse that we don’t half ass things here at So Wonderful, So Marvelous.

Oh, no my friends.  We do shit up right.  A teething, snot filled baby who unbeknownst to me {while I was on a conference call and Daddy was watching her} managed to fall and now has a shiner like Rocky.  Oh, did I mention that the aforementioned snot is impeding her ability to sleep more than two hours at a stretch, nurse, or be put down for more than 10 seconds?  She has also lovingly passed her germs along to me. 

A four year old who is either the most helpful, loving child on the planet or a crazed, tantrum throwing madman.  The latest battle?  It is over 5t versus 4t jeans.  He apparently believes that 5t jeans are way too big even though he has, in fact, been wearing them since Christmas.

I can’t even talk about the state of this house.  I mean, we’re not at Hoarders level, but my mom is still appalled when she stops by unexpectedly.  I’ve also been working on a few projects and I apparently have lost my ability to have a job in addition to being a mom. 

When we have weeks like this, I start questioning both my sanity and my ability to handle this whole mom thing.  The doubt starts rolling in and it eats away at my resolve that I am, in fact, awesome.

A real mom would know how to soothe a screaming baby who wakes up because her teeth hurt and in her thrashing, head butts you in the face. 

A real mom would know her baby just has an awful cold and wouldn’t schedule an unnecessary doctor visit. 

A real mom would remember the tissues and not have snot on her shirt. 

A real mom would make sure there were vegetables and fruit at every meal and not serve pizza for dinner because of poor planning. 

A real mom wouldn’t let her child break the ‘no TV on school days’ rule just to have another hour of sleep. 

A real mom would know how to juggle work with family life. 

A real mom doesn’t stay in her pajamas until preschool pick up, she would also shower before noon.

A real mom would be able to handle getting three hours of sleep.

Here it is though, my peeps, I am a real mom and so are you.  Things are not always calm.  They are not always going to go my way.   There are days of sheer perfection and there are days weeks of crazy ass chaos.  The house will be a mess.  I will step on Wolverine & Captain America first thing in the morning and I will run out of freaking coffee.  It happens. 

I pick my battles and sometimes I don’t win.  

14 comments:

seriouslysassymama.com said...

Sometimes I like not winning.

Bunny @ 86n It said...

Did you see my photo on FB pushing TWO girls in a stroller made for ONE? I'm pretty sure a real mom wouldn't do that! Oh well.

Sarah said...

I occasionally (ok, often) get that feeling like, "Would a Real Mom do this?", and then I wonder just who that Real Mom is. because I sure as hell am not a Fake Mom...

Because like you said, no matter what there always going to be days that things are just not going the way we planned. And that's cool. Because that's LIFE!

<3

Stacy Kaye said...

Oops, I'm not a real mom either!

A real mom would know her baby just has an awful cold and wouldn’t schedule an unnecessary doctor visit-GUILTY, I am constantly in the doctor's office making sure they are ok. All right, not constantly, but often. It only takes ONE diagnosis of ear infection, though, to feel justified!

A real mom would remember the tissues and not have snot on her shirt-Bahhaaaha! EVERYONE ELSE ALWAYS has tissues, and I NEVER do. I can't tell you how many times I have used my shirt sleeve and told myself "It's okay! We have a washing machine!"

A real mom would make sure there were vegetables and fruit at every meal and not serve pizza for dinner because of poor planning-Don't the tomato sauce on the pizza count as a veggie and the applesauce for dessert count for something?

A real mom wouldn’t let her child break the ‘no TV on school days’ rule just to have another hour of sleep-Oh thank the good Lord for TV. How did people do this parenting thing before the blessed invention of the PVR and Team Umizoomi on demand!? :)

A real mom would know how to juggle work with family life-Wait a second, there are moms that can do this? REALLY?

A real mom doesn’t stay in her pajamas until preschool pick up, she would also shower before noon-I only get the shower accomplished before noon because I know if it doesn't happen then it won't that day...at all.

A real mom would be able to handle getting three hours of sleep-this is why God invented coffee, and the McDonald's/Starbucks Drive Thru for coffee when we run out at home.

Great post Michelle, love your honesty!

Christine said...

I'm laughing only because that was our week last week. But I actually walked the baby into a door and a wall. And our girl let loose at school from all of the craziness at home. Sleep deprivation is a bitch. You will make it though. If I did, you will!!! Hang in there, Momma!

Bunny @ 86n It said...

;)

A. Faith Golden said...

Awww, she's back! :) thanks for the laugh dear! :) I hope you have a great weekend! (this is my Friday)

Emily said...

Awww, I'll come over and hold Ms. Crabbypants for a couple of hours if you want me to. I need some baby snuggles (even if they're from a cranky baby). I hope things calm down soon!

Jessica @ TheCrazyChaoticHouse said...

I am constantly saying those things to myself. Yeah I am pretty sure a real mom wouldn't yell at her crazy toddlers. Today was a rough day for me. losing battles with these crazy ass toddlers is wearing me down. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world:)

Christine said...

I am now spending my days remembering those days with a combination of horror and pride as I realize just how awful and how wonderful it was all at the same time. My now adult children shake their heads and say "yeah mom, you kind of LOST it a time or two"' lol! The sun will come out again and you will triumph. Keep it honest. Keep it real. This is what I love the most about your blog:)

Hayley said...

wow - thanks for this. just turned 25, am getting married in sept & i want to be a mom more than anything - but i am TERRIFIED. "i'm not a grown up, i could never be a mom..." "my house is messy, i could never be a mom..." "i get so impatient sometimes, I don't want to yell at my kids, I could never be a mom..."

its nice to read things like this.

Two Normal Moms said...

Nah, a real mom knows that it's a damn hard job and sometimes just getting from wake up time to bed time with everybody alive is a huge success. Hang in there!

Yostee said...

I love love LOVE this!!! This is how about 75% of my life goes. I commend you so much for your honestly and ability to make everyone realize that they are normal too!! I work with a lady who is what I envision as "the perfect mom". I love her dearly, but some days I wanna punch her in the face!! :-)

A real mom wouldn't have her 3 year old yelling to tell you "Mom, Vincent (my 2 year old) just said fuck" - real mom's would never let their kids know what that word was

A real mom would never ever flip out on her kids for making drums out of everything. They are being creative, right?!?! So why would I ever yell at them b/c if they clang one more damn thing I am going to explode.

A real mom would never feel alone or defeated because dad is busting his ass working 10 hours a day then going to renovate the new house for 6 more hours. A real mom would be grateful for what he is doing and never ever complain... although I am eternally grateful for what he's doing, sometimes I just want to ring his neck for not being home!! How selfish is that?!?!?!

A real mom would have taken her kids to the park yesterday since it was 50 degrees out or made homemade ravioli for dinner rather than boiled up some frozen ones b/c she decided to take a nap... real mom's don't need a nap!!!

And lastly, a real mom would never leave the baby whining on the floor while reading this b/c I just need 5 minutes of alone time... is that so freaking much to ask for?!?!

Sleep deprivation is awful. Tantrums are awful. The idea of the "real mom" or "good mom" is AWFUL!!!

These days will go by so quickly that we will question why we ever got stressed about them, but for the moment, hit me up with some Prozac and a good bottle of wine!!!

Anonymous said...

I adore this post only because I am finding myself walking that thin line between sanity and insanity myself right now. In the past week and a half I've had a water leak in my house while trying to have my 4 year olds birthday party and being down two people at work. My solution- drink lots of wine and realize I don't have to try and be perfect anymore cause it just ain't happening. Good luck!

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