Guest Post Tiffany from Diary of a Fun Ruiner.

05 July 2011

diary of a fun ruiner

Our bedtime routing is pretty standard around here.  Baths, books, breathing treatment (for Ryder), brush teeth and into bed.  It used to be really easy - Emmerson and Ryder would get into bed and lay quietly until they fell asleep.  I should have known it couldn't last forever.

For reasons I've yet to determine (other than he likes screwing with me) Ryder recently decided just going to bed for mom and dad was over-rated and began to protest.  He was telling us he was scared of bats.  And vampires.  And scawee guys.  And outside.  This was usually followed up by requesting some milk.  And for me to tickle his back.  On top of these shenanigans, he'd come down in the middle of the night wanting to sleep in our bed.  I'd have to get out of bed, take him back up to his room and get him back to sleep.  If I was lucky, he wouldn't wake the baby but there were many times he thought it was a lot of fun to piss me off in the middle of the night.

Needless to say, this business was about to put me over the edge.  It's rough enough to be up at least once a night with the baby, but this game was making me look like I'd been a 2 week drinking binge over morning.  Clearly, something had to be done.

And that's when I got the most brilliant idea I've had to date.

Me:  Ryder, do you know that when you sleep you grow?  And you know what else?  Mommy doesn't really want you to grow anymore.  In fact, I've been thinking about giving your shrinking pills so I can keep you teeny, tiny forever.

Ryder:  But mom, I have to gwow.  Dat's what people do.

Me:  But I want to make sure you're my little guy forever.  I just don't need you to grown any bigger than you are, so I'd really like it if you just wouldn't sleep anymore.

Ryder:  Mo-ooom.  I don't want to stay wittle foreva.  I want to get big wike dad.

Me:  Well, I don't think we'll have anymore of that growing business so whatever you do, don't sleep.

And guess what?  He went right to sleep and stayed in his bed all night long.  And has ever since.  Just another way for me to prove to Zach that I rock mommy-hood.

Tiffany is one of my favorites, her stories are hilarious, her kids are cute as hell, and she tells it like it is.  You can find her blogging about all her mom awesomeness at Diary of a Fun Ruiner.  Or on Facebook.  Or on Twitter.  Go on over and follow her, I won’t be too jealous. 


Michelle said...

I love this... trickery used well is a great mom tool to have.

Aimee said...

She does rock. I should know.. she's my bestie in real life!

Great post!

And Michelle... congrats on your new beautiful baby girl!!

Bunny @ 86n It said...

I'm writing this idea down!

Yostee said...

Oh my goodness... I <3 you ladies!!!!! Never cease to amaze me with your brilliance!! I wish I could pack you all up, ship you to PA, head 1.5 hrs away to the finger lakes and laugh our asses off over some bottles of wine!!!! Whenever I am having a crappy day, I head over to Michelle's blog and just laugh and now I have been introduced to another hysterical woman with crazy children too!!! People without kids just don't understand how funny they can be and I totally relate to the stuff all these kids do!!! :o) Thanks again for sharing this wonderful advice!!!

MommyLisa said...

OMG - that is full of the awesome. ;)

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