If you’ve been reading So Wonderful, So Marvelous for long, you will know that my husband Dave gets a lot of harebrained ideas.
A lot. And most of them involve thinking he is a dude from Top Chef.
Michelle, I should learn to make sushi. Yes, I know the sticky rice tasted like vinegar and I ruined a pan, but I’ll get it. Michelle, I am going to make my own peanut sauce. Michelle, I just got this mini hibachi because I NEED to use charcoal for these chicken satay. Michelle, Bridget said I can have her mandolin, what if I promise to use the finger guard? Michelle, let’s make a $47 apple pie.
OK, OK, that last one was me, but all the rest are all Dave. He and Finn together though? TROUBLE. I am dreading when Finn is a teen and can escalate the craziness with Dave right there egging him on.
The latest?
We are at the grocery store and Finn talks Dave into getting a coconut.
Seriously? How are you going to open that thing Dave??
I don’t know yet. It can’t be that hard!
Solid plan.
You can see my trepidation since the thumb cutting incident resulted in antibiotics and a tetanus shot.
The thing is, I gave in because when we were young, Lyndsey and I talked my dad into this very thing and we thought it was SO cool. And don’t forget, it was pre-internet when you didn’t have instructions. {Oh, thank God for instructions.} I think my dad cracked ours with a hammer until it broke into a bunch of pieces. Dave said when he did it as a kid there was a vice grip present and he thinks maybe a drill.
I laid out the rules for the Davester. These are things I would like to avoid… vice grips mixed with coconuts, Dave losing a finger, Finn losing an eye, anyone going to the emergency room.
Finn was beside himself with excitement. Tate was mouthing, “are you MAD woman? Don’t let Daddy have a hammer and a coconut!”
First, there was punching of the holes with the nail set, but any old pointy thing will do according to the Davester, master of the coconuts. Then the draining of the coconut water.
And the cracking… against the stairs because… and I quote, “people on islands do this shit all the time.” Well, that fact and I told him not to use our ridiculously expensive chefs knife for the job. More for the fingers than the knife, but I digress.
What up now Sucka? I got fresh coconut AND all my fingers!
And then they peeled it and made smoothies with it. Dave saved a piece of the shell so Finn could take it in for the science center in school.
That Dad of his is pretty damn cool.
