I am a maniac when my mother-in-law comes over to our house. Certifiable.
Sue, you should probably stop reading now.
Regardless if it’s planned or an unexpected visit, three minutes before, you’ll find me running through the house with a vacuum. Usually, I’m simultaneously hurrying the kids along to pick up whatever mess they’re currently concocting and yelling for Dave to please grab a broom. This is usually followed by an entertained look from him, possibly followed by an eye roll because he knows his mother, but he grabs the broom anyway.
Sue didn’t raise a fool.
She really doesn’t care what our house looks like on a Wednesday at four in the afternoon. Not even a little bit. My brain knows this. My brain also knows that my own mother cares WAY more than my mother-in-law does. If Janet walked in to a spotless house, she’d walk right back out and ask where her real daughter is being held captive… then, probably tell Clean Michelle to stay instead.
You hear that, Dave? It’s YOU who should be caring about a mother-in-law clean.
It’s me, though. I care. It’s as if the house being clean is going to make her think, “Well, I’m certainly glad he picked a girl who can keep the house clean! What a
good great choice for a wife to my beloved son and such a pretty mother of my grandchildren! Have you tasted this pot roast? It’s delicious.”
When the house is a disaster, in my head, she knowingly glances at Dave with raised eyebrows while stepping over Legos and spit-fixing Finn’s wild, too-long hair and slowly shakes her head in disbelief. “There are toys from one end of the house to the other, isn’t she home all day? That’s what happens when you marry a mouthy Democrat who talks to her imaginary friends on the internet for a living.”
Stop smiling, those imaginary friends… that would be you.
The reality is, when she calls to say she’s stopping over unexpectedly and hears me start the launch sequence of DEFCON MOTHER-IN-LAW, she tells Dave, “Tell Michelle not to worry about it! I don’t care!”
But, I do. Now, be a dear and run outside and cut some lilacs for the table.
Am I the only one that does the mother-in-law clean?