05 March 2012

So, what are you doing now?

I stay home.

But didn’t you go to school?



Dave and I once had a conversation just before we were married about me staying home and I laughed at him.  Laughed.  Out loud.  I was career driven.  I thought he was nuts and I pretty much told him so.

But, you all know how that turned out. 

My name is Michelle, and I am a stay at home mom.

Staying home is not for the faint of heart. It isn’t easy. I don’t sit around watching the View and eating bonbons all day.

Want to know something else?  It is, unequivocally, the most difficult job I have ever had. 

Yes, of course, there are perks… like being able to stay in my pjs all day if I choose, like baby snuggles in the morning, and naps in the afternoon.   But it’s hard, you guys.  There are no breaks, you’re on call 24 hours a day, and the diapers… dear LORD, the diapers.  There are no lunches out with friends unless my nosey, high-maintenance coworkers tag along.  Let’s not even talk about the paycheck.

And I don’t feel like I am wasting my education by any means.  I’m proud of my degree.  I worked my ass off to get it, thank you for bringing it up.

I wish I could impart all this information to you while we have our awkward exchange, but the truth is, you ‘getting it’ is not a priority for me.

Because they get it.  And that is what matters.


Lisa Mende said...

you know, as long as you remember it isn't about anyone but your own family that is truly all that counts! good for you. the time goes way too fast and poof they are away at college. losing my oldest son 2 1/2 years ago makes me happy that i spent as much time as i did with him when he was little. yes, i did work some but i was a mom first. now that my children are older, i can work all i want and guess what, the most important job i have is MOM!

Yostee said...

I go back and forth from time to time as to which would be better. For us, my paycheck is very important. I do only work 40 hours a week. NO OVERTIME. Not very many people working in a hospital can say that!! When I was on maternity leave and home 12 weeks 24 hours a day, they were some of the most grueling days ever. You are absolutely right that being a SAHM is the hardest job. I offer for anyone know knocks it do to it, but not just for one day b/c that doesn't give you the feel of it, but at least 2 weeks. IT'S NOT EASY!!! To be very honest with you, I have days where I look forward to going to work just to get a break. I applaud all stay at home moms for everything - keeping up the house, keeping up the kids, teaching, mentoring, counseling, cooking, and the list goes on and on, but I also give them credit for standing up to those doubters in the world who do think you have it easy!!!! I used to get soo pissed off when Mr. would come home and ask me what I did all day and get so made b/c I only did 4 loads of laundry instead of 6. Umm, shove those last 2 loads up your ass!!! My response would always be, I sat around and ate bonbons all day... so it's funny you put that!!!

You should be very proud of yourself for earning that degree. That degree you earned was before babies. Your life has taken a turn... I am sure when they are older, that degree may come in handy again!!! What is your degree in, if you don't mind my being nosey?!!? It should be in party planning or design or something :o)

Amanda said...

People need to understand that education is about so much more than getting a job!!! Your children will benefit so much from having a mom that thinks higher ed is important, and I'm sure you pass on knowledge to them that you gained while you were in school.
I was so exhausted after yesterday at home with my 3 year old--I was pretty excited today to get to work, sit on my bum and read a couple of my favorite blogs :-)

Just A Normal Mom said...

Be proud of your current "career". It's such a short time in the grand scheme of life, and you'll never regret spending it with your children. (Thought I'm sure the time feels quite long on the 8th diaper of the day. lol)

Stefanie Blakely said...


I am so glad that you left a comment on my blog so that I could come here and check you out. I think I'm in love... The witty posts! The crafty parties! The adorable children with precious names! (I have to tell you that our former lab was named Tate and I tried to keep it on the kid name list after he passed, but it was a no-go with hubs.)

As for being a SAHM-- childhood is only a season & a short one at that. I know that I can go back to work full time once they are in school if I want to, but for now, being with them is what I want to do. I don't want to miss a moment. When we have a bad day, I try to remember that soon enough, they won't need me like they do now. (And while that will be a blessing in some ways, it will be really sad in others.) It's the "realest" job I've ever had.

I'll be back.

P.S. I loved your airplane analogy-- definitely using that sometime to describe PPD/PPA!

@JessEsco said...

Staying home is hard as crap. I can't do it. And you do it and rock it. If I could even remotely throw a party or decorate the way you do? I'd probably keel over. thanks friend.

Stacy Kaye said...

I wish there was a "like" button! I love what you have to say. It IS hard. I love that we get a year of half-paid maternity leave up here, because it has given me the opportunity to see it from both points of view. Staying home IS really hard. I wish we could handle it financially for me to do it. I am trying really hard to get at least part time. Let me support you though...even as a teacher-which is a job that requires a lot of work both inside and out of the classroom-staying home IS hard! Those baby snuggles sure make it worth it though!

Good for you and I am sure that degree is not going to waste...all of that education is part of what makes you who you are and that "who" you are is imparted to your kids every single day! That counts for A LOT!

Anonymous said...

The other day my husband was on the phone in another room with a family member and she asked if I was back to working yet.

He said I wasn't, then I heard him pause and say, "But she does work. Everyday!"

If I hadn't felt validated before that I sure did then! <3

Jessica @ Wanting Adventure said...

It's sad that there is such a stigma against women who are staying home to raise their kids. I think it's a brilliant profession and I plan on doing it once we're at a place where we can start our family. But I don't look forward to those awkward conversations.

MommyLisa said...

I think all us women should just get along. :) I know its hard to stay home because I did it for five months - while trying to find my job I have now. And I know now how much my daughter loved having me at home. She looks forward to my days off - she calls them "Boo Boo" days.

deborah said...

It is awkward. I cannot say what is best for another family--I cannot.I don't know. All I know is what is best for mine. I think somewhere along the way a college education became more about a job than about learning and developing a way of thinking critically. So there we are....

Katie Olthoff said...

Love this!

Unknown said...

I never thought i would be at home with my kids but here I am 4 years later and wouldn't have it any other way. And HELL NO it's not easy!!! I get so ticked when people assume all we is lay around and do nothing all day. Luckily I haven't had an awkward exchange like this one.

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