Every Horror Movie Starts With a Turnoff…

Dave:  How about we take 40 back to Lexington?  It’s the scenic route…

Me:  Because four and a half hours in the car with those maniacs is enough and we have to do it again tomorrow?  Adding any more time to that is nuts.

Dave: Yeah…

Me:  I’ll do it if you really want to, but dude…

Dave:  No, you’re right.

So it was decided that we’d take 75 like normal human beings.  Until we stopped for a great lunch in Knoxville and we temporarily lost our minds.

Orangina, sweet tea, and crepes will do that to you.

Half an hour later…

Dave:  Remember when I was talking about 40.  This is where it would have met up.

Me:  Oh, cool.

Dave:  If we get off here, we can go through the mountain in this huge tunnel.  I was looking at it on maps last night.  Then it will meet back up with 75.

Me:  I mean, if it’s not super far off the route, I don’t care.  Do you really want to do it?

Dave:  It’s a little longer.  It’s an adventure. 

Google Navigation:  Pull up to blah blah blah road and make a U-Turn

Google Navigation: Pull up to blah blah blah road 2 and make a U-Turn

Me:  Ha ha ha.  D, I think it wants us to make a U-Turn.  You know where you’re going, right?

Google Navigation: make a U-Turn here

Dave:  Yeah, it’s fine.  It’ll re-calculate soon.

Google Navigation: MAKE a U-Turn

Dave:  You could turn the voice off.

Google Navigation: For the love of God, turn your asses around, you will never survive this.  *only a slight exaggeration*

We finally pull onto this slightly small road and it finally re-calculates the route.

Me:  ok… hey wait… D?  We don’t have cell service. 

Dave:  Yeah, Michelle.  We’re in the middle of nowhere.  It’s scenic.

Me:  Um, we stay on this road, right?  Because I just lost the GPS signal.

Dave:  HOW do you lose a GPS signal on the top of a mountain?

Me:  And why are we on the top of a mountain, where is the tunnel???

Forty-five minutes of hairpin turns and car sickness and really really scary scary ‘houses’ in the middle of nowhere later… we are talking straight Deliverance here, no way we are stopping anywhere.  Also?  I’m not quite sure what the entire yard full of weird looking cages/traps was about…

 

So, Dave is apologizing profusely,  we have not been through a tunnel, and I’m sick, sending several panicked texts to my sister and Nikki when we FINALLY hooked back up with both a GPS signal and with 75.

I’ve never been so happy to see a highway in my life.

And for your viewing pleasure, I shot a video for you about fifteen minutes in… you know, before I wanted to vomit repeatedly all over the car.  It was mostly because I could see someone finding all our bodies somewhere and I wanted evidence that it was all Dave’s fault.  This right here is a good indication of how weird we both are, Dave’s fake southern accent is a bonus for your benefit because I assured him I’d be putting this on the internet. 

Asheville Barbeque–Moe’s Original Bar B Que

When we travel, we like to eat things we can’t get at home.  We were looking for great barbeque in Asheville.  We talked about 12 Bones, but they’re only open for lunch and frankly, we didn’t want to wait in line... even if it is President Obama’s favorite.  We decided on Moe’s Original Bar B Que, they claim it’s Alabama Barbeque, but I’ll claim it’s freaking delicious.  It’s a chain-ish establishment… there are a few in Colorado and several in the south, so it’s not local to Asheville, but it isn’t something we have in Ohio. 

There was a steady stream of locals and tourists alike.  We walked in and found a huge table of police officers having dinner, seated right next to a huge table of firefighters having dinner.  We were met in the parking lot by some disappointed folks who were too late and missed the ribs.  Once they are out of something, they’re out for the night since everything is smoked in house daily.  There was a crowd the entire time we were there, I’ll take that as a good sign.

You walk in and order at a counter.  Take just a minute to look through the entire menu so you don’t overlook any options.  You can either get your meats sandwich style on a bun or platter style depending on your preference.  Everything comes with sides, cornbread, and a drink included.  We tried the pulled pork and the smoked turkey along with almost every side on the menu.  Y’all.  You need to get the pulled pork, it is to die for.  I wish they hadn’t been out of the ribs because we likely would have gotten those as well. 

There were two things that we had that we were just kind of eh about, the cornbread and the turkey.  The turkey was good in a bite with the two sauces and the slaw, but on it’s own was just kind of so so.  A little dry and overly smoky tasting.  The cornbread wasn’t like anything I’d had before.  We both expected to love it since it’s a grilled version.  It wasn’t corn tasting enough for me and I wished I had taken a bite before giving some to Tate since it had a little kick to it. 

 

 

So many times when you go to a barbeque place, the meat is outstanding and the sides are over looked, but not here.  These sides?  So very southern and absolute perfection.  From the glazed carrots to the tangy slaw, everything left us wondering if these were old family recipes.  The collard greens were some of the absolute best Dave or I have ever had.  I loved the flavor and the slight heat packed into the baked beans.  And of course, Tate ate her weight in mac n cheese, it was a great version, not overly cheesy or greasy.  I really wish that they would have had the summer squash and the spinach when we were there, because I’d love to try their take on it.

The topper though was the banana pudding.  I don’t even particularly enjoy bananas and this was like the most pillowy delicious fresh banana tasting pudding ever.  It’s topped with a Nilla Wafer, that is, I think, the only thing it has in common with anything I’ve ever had approximating banana pudding before.  Y’all, I must have that recipe.  Pssst… Moe’s? If you’re reading this I seriously would LOVE that recipe.

 

Asheville.

An overnight in Lexington with Aunt Lisey.  I think she needed it more than the kids did.

Next, we were off to Asheville to have loads of time with the 86’n It crew.  After a great egg hunt downtown, Marc + Nikki made the best dinner and we let the kids run wild in the backyard.  I snuggled Mina and tried to convince the Davester that we need just one more in our brood.  He maintains a ‘no’ on that one, but I can tell he was waffling a little bit holding her.

 

I’m pretty sure Finn was holding the door shut so Tate was trapped in the playhouse here…

And then Nikki and I were off for some last minute Easter Target-ing.  The Easter Bunny even hid eggs and baskets all over our room.  I wonder how he found us?

Then a long nap at the hotel before another amazing dinner and lots of play time.  {Until Finn proceeded to vomit in their new bathroom from the overabundance of candy eating… just keeping it real for you, my peeps.}

 

 

Monday brought a bouncing off the walls, very much recovered Finnegan.  Franca took us to one of her favorite parks for some time outside on a gorgeous day.  A yummy lunch followed at The Blackbird… if you ever have the occasion, go there.  Everything was outstanding, especially the french press coffee, it was locally roasted and the best coffee I have ever had.  Y’all I have had A LOT of coffee.  It was that good.  Also, the lemonade.  Unreal.   

Lunch was followed by a crazy trek all over the city for the boys and a nap for the girls.  Swimming.  And barbeque for dinner that deserves it’s own post.

 

 

One last egg hunt, some bathroom reno photos, and we packed up and were on our way.  The Davester decided we were going to have some adventure, damn it.  Just wait until you hear about that on Thursday.  Hint:  He’s never picking anything again.

 

 

One more night in Lexington with Aunt Lisey and home.  Exhausted and happy to have spent time with good friends.

We’re ready to go back any time you’ll have us Nik. 

Finnisms.

Finn:  Can someone lick that envelope?

Dave: Yeah, you.

Michelle:  Daddy can.

Finn:  You know what I’m horrified of?

Michelle:  I think you mean terrified of.

Finn:  You know what I’m terrified of?  Spiders and paper licks.

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Finn:  I hate to do this but c’mon Tate, you’re drooling like a grumpy dog.

*goes and wipes his hands on a towel*

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