Press (re)Start.

24 February 2015

When I don’t want to do something, I have a really hard time starting.  When I’m stressed.  When I’m tired.  When I am embarrassed, angry, and overwhelmed.  It is easier to hide or immerse myself in something mindless, have you played Trivia Crack?  My mostly rational mind is clued into the fact that this is a by-product of the ADD, but my overwhelmed reaction (ding ding ding, also the ADD) sees it as a series of hurdles. 

And you know my booty isn’t making it over any hurdles.

The thing is, it bothers me, being away from here as much as I have been, but there are some other things I needed to spend my energy on.  It’s kind of like that put your own oxygen mask on, then your kids’ when the reality is you’re going to see their face and put their mask on first.  And I did, but it’s also a bullshit cop out excuse too.  Because everyone knows in the crazy airline demonstrations, doing that just makes you pass out while your kids are fine.  I’m pretty sure mine would just poke me with a stick because they want a snack. 

Coming back for a quickie “hi, how are ya,” in the midst of all of that, seemed like kind of a jackass thing to do.  So, I just didn’t.  I would be like that friend who just shows up unannounced to your party, because you put it on Facebook.  Sure, you forgot that friend wasn’t under your ‘acquaintance’ list, they aren’t really invited, if we’re being honest but, they still show up and make it all awkward.  Yep.  That about sums it up.

Ooooh, is that Chex mix?

And, no, I’m not going to talk about it just yet, the other stuff, but I will.  Probably.  Just not right now.  << I also hate when people do things like that,  WHO does that?  Annoying people, on your acquaintance list, that’s who.  But, you already know that. 

Unless you’re new.

In which case, um, hi, I’m Michelle, you can totally come sit by me.  I’ll probably even be back here tomorrow.  Maybe.

I am pressing the re-start button.  While crossing my fingers it doesn’t crash the system. 

What’s new with you?


Angela said...

Life happens Michelle. Don't be so hard on yourself.

Denise said...

I haven't written on my blog since early December for a whole host of important reasons that are not easy or appropriate to explain. Honestly, I don't even have enough readers yet to warrant an explanation. Seeing your post today gave me a certain kind of peace knowing I'm not alone. I hope you're OK, and that it's just a series of small bumps that have kept you away. You were very kind and encouraging to me when I was just trying to get my blog started, so I feel like I know you in that crazy blog world sort of way. You connect with your readers in a way that not many can, so I have no doubt that they'll be here waiting when the time is right for you. Be well.

Anonymous said...

Yay! :)

Anonymous said...

Well, I am watching half naked men fight the Persians. It is snowing, and I really want ice cream. Real ice cream with dairy because I do not eat dairy anymore. I am also contemplating cleaning the house. I may sit on that one for a long while.

Unknown said...

I went like a whole year almost of not posting. I kinda got back into it BUT geeze it's hard to find time to just sit at the computer. I hope things are "okay" and yes very annoying when people do that, especially on FB....LOL. I haven't been up to much just trying to be the best mom I can and trying to keep up with my crazies and my crazy schedule as a stay at home mom. Who says us SAHM don't do crap all day?! and whoohoooo!!!!!!

Emily said...

Uh, you're talking to a girl who didn't write on her blog for five months. Just getting back on here is a good first step. I've missed you!

Shannon C said...

Hey Michelle! I've missed you. At the moment I am trying to unpack from a trip/clean my apartment but the beach is calling my name-loudly (feel like an asshole for saying that but the struggle is real. That and it's sunny but not warm).

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