Finnisms.

Finn: {Talking to himself.}  Girls are bad, boys are good.

Me:  Excuse me?

Finn:  Girls are bad.  Boys are good.  Uh.  Well, not you.  Um, you’re good.  But Tate is a bad walker.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finn:  Dad, why are there always carrots in throw up?

Dave: You didn’t even eat carrots yesterday!

Finn:  I know!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finn:  Mom, do you know where the hippopotamus went?

Me:  Under that blanket.

Finn:  How did you know that?

Me:  Mamas know everything.

Finn:  But you didn’t know the bacon piece. 

{Earlier we had a conversation about ham being a pig and bacon being a pig, just different parts of the pig and he asked me which piece bacon was.  That much, I have no clue and it’s not really something I’m going to google for fear of losing my love for bacon forever.}

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finn:  Dad, what is a loser name?  Daaaad.  WHAT is a loser name?

Dave:  Buddy, you have to hold on a second.

Finn:  What is a loser name?

Dave:  It’s a USER name.

Finn:  What’s a user name?  Oh, I get it, like F-I-N-N.  Right?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finn:  Mom, I don’t watch Mr Roger’s Neighborhood anymore.

Me:  Ok…

Finn:   Well, it’s a kid show, but it had a grownup in it.  And it tells a kid story, but I just can’t watch it anymore.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Finn:  I got the moves of Jagga.  I got the moves of Jagga.  I gottt the mooooooooves of Jagga.

50 Shades of WTF + A Giveaway.

I just read 50 Shades of Grey.  I thought about reading it after my two sisters talked non-stop about the books.  They were raving about how much they were sucked in and couldn’t put the trilogy down.  There were tales of text conversations between the two of them that they were not eating or sleeping because they couldn’t stop reading. 

I really didn’t feel like reading the book.  Three-quarters of you might hate me for this statement, but I am going to say it anyway… I wasn’t a fan of Twilight.  OK, wait, I WAS a fan of Twilight, I blazed through the first two books, but then I got half way through the third book and hated it.  So, I put it down and didn’t look back.   Every time I talk to a Twi-Hard they look at me, mouths agape at the tragedy of this.  Let’s add insult to injury here and say that Robert Pattison freaks me the fuck out, he looks like a creep so I haven’t watched the movies either.  No matter how many times my sister Elise calls him a dimepiece, he still reminds me of a dirty carnie. 

Where was I?

Oh yes, so all of the hype was that this was Twilight inspired fan fiction.  Which obvs?  I wanted to avoid like the plague.  Initially I thought it was another vampire book.  So, I didn’t get the book.  I ignored the hype blazing all over the internet.  And then, didn’t get the book some more.

And then my sister said my MOM was going to read it.  So, I felt legally obligated to read it because hello?  My mother reading smut?  It’s like hell hath frozen over, my friends.

I caved.

Dave went to pick up the book Friday night after I asked all of you your thoughts on Facebook.  He also came home laughing that the book was in the romance section.  Here he was, a dude perusing the romance section on a Friday night, he’s pretty sure it cost him his man-card.

I cracked it open and started reading.

The book sucks, people. 

Yes, the sex is totally hot and the story is decent, if totally unbelievable.  BUT, it’s so poorly written that I can’t get past the inconsistencies and half-thoughts.  I’m pretty sure the grammar would send my friend Emily right over the edge.

It is as bad as reading this blog… yeah, THAT bad. 

I mean if you take it for what it is, which is p0rn, you’re good.  But if you’re expecting an actual book because you’ve paid money and someone has actually published and {you assume} EDITED the thing… well, you’d be better off surfing the 6,270,000 p0rn fiction sites on the net and get your goods for free.  Yes, I Googled, there are that many.  Who knew?

You all have assured me that the second book is so much better, so I am borrowing a copy and giving it a chance.  I do want to see how the story ends, but I’m hoping the second doesn’t have me tearing my hair out.

And so you don’t have to buy it, I’m passing my copy on to one of you!  This is a quickie {much like the sex between Christian and Ana} leave a comment and I will pick a winner tomorrow night (5/1) at 11:59 pm.

 

THE WINNER IS KAREN, COMMENT #7…. Well, really it was Emily Comment #1, but she didn’t want it…. then it was LaurenLeigh Comment#11, but she’s already reading it.   But then it was KAREN!

Infertility Awareness Week.

I felt like a piece of my very being was missing.  And something so simple, something you have been painstakingly preventing your entire life until you were finally “ready,” is held out of your reach no matter how much you stretch to grasp it.

It doesn’t just go away when you have a child.  Or two children.  Or five children.  The pain, it’s still there.

It is excruciating and I wish it didn’t happen to anyone.

But it did. 

It happened to me. 

And to Bea.  And Laura.  And Ashlee.  And Amy.  And Stace.  And Lisa.  And Rachel.

And probably someone you know and care about.

When it Rains.

I’ve been super lucky that at 87 and 88 years old, both of my Grandmothers are healthy and living on their own.  I know it is a rare thing and I am incredibly thankful.

Meme, my mom’s mom, decided to give up driving this year because she just wasn’t comfortable behind the wheel anymore.  Other than that, they are both ridiculously mobile and healthy for being two old chicks.  GramCrackers, my dad’s mom, is still as feisty at 87 as she was at 67. 

Anyone that meets her knows, this a blessing AND a curse.

Saturday, they were both at Finnegan’s birthday party, talking and laughing and having a great time.

Sunday, they were BOTH in the hospital.  There is really nothing in the world that can take the wind out of your sails more than getting a phone call that GramCrackers had fallen down the stairs at her house.  But then, eight hours later, an emergency call that Meme felt like she was having a heart attack completely sent me over the edge. 

We didn’t sleep much Sunday night. 

Gram apparently skipped a step and went tumbling down ten or so stairs.  She has three broken ribs and a broken scapula along with a fair amount of bumps and bruises and scrapes to go along with it.  She’s incredibly sore and they want to keep her for nearly a week.

They are still running tests and trying to figure out just what happened to Meme.  The tests are {thankfully} all coming back good so far.  She’ll be coming home tonight.

Thankfully they are both at the same hospital, so visits have just meant an elevator ride and short walk.

So there is that.

Send good thoughts, please.  Meme and GramCrackers could certainly use them.