About Us: Casey + MCB, Married 9 Years.

It’s that time again.  Our anniversary week is in full effect and you know what that means.  I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their spouses to stop over and to share some words on marriage.  Sit back and relax all week while they charm the pants off of you!

I am so excited for this one!  Casey {wearing Roozle as a baby in the pic} is an absolute force of positive energy.  We ‘met’ on Twitter and bonded over the fact that both of us are ironing-challenged, thankfully we both married well or we’d be wrinkled messes.  She is a blogger living in Boston with her wife and their four year old daughter Roozle.  Life rules isn’t just her tag line, she means it and that zeal and confidence comes through in her writing.  This year she was one of the keynote speakers at BlogHer Voices of the Year.

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

We've been together for 10 years. We met at a protest in 2003 on the first day of the war with Iraq. We were both there with our ex-girlfriends and saw each other from far away. I followed her for a few blocks, checking her out. I know now that she was checking me out too, but her ex started to get jealous and put her arm around her which made me think they were together so I left. Feeling encouraged by a super cute girl sighting, I went to a lesbian bar the following week. When I walked in, MCB was there, telling her friend all about seeing a cute girl (me) and how her ex messed it up. Mid-sentence, I arrived, and she pointed and said, "THAT'S HER!" but her friend quieted her quickly so I didn't notice. She came up to me later that night and we talked and danced and exchanged numbers. It all happened really fast after that. 

What has being married taught you?

Marriage has taught me how to just hold tight. Sometimes a moment feels awful and frustrating and terrible, but if you just hold tight, it often fades away. It's almost like living with a toddler: you need to pick your battles. There is a lot that goes into two people's actions. Intentions, past experiences, current experiences. I try really hard to focus on that and not be too sensitive to the moment. This lesson has worked well outside of our marriage as well. 

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

The most fun thing we've done together has definitely been creating this little family of ours. We have a great time together. Our daughter is exceptionally silly and the three of us are always laughing.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

We try to have fun and see the good in situations. It doesn't always work, but we try. We have definitely gone to bed angry a few times in the last 10 years, but work really hard not to. 

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

The secret to all happiness is low expectations. Marriage is not excluded from this. When you don't expect much, everything that happens feels like the best day ever. It rules.

About Us: Kristina + Matt, Married 13 Years.

It’s that time again.  Our anniversary week is in full effect and you know what that means.  I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to stop over and to share some words on marriage.  Sit back and relax all week while they charm the pants off of you!

Kristina.  I didn’t think we would be friends, but I was wrong.  I was so wrong.  My favorite thing to come out of Blissdom was Kristina’s friendship.  She is so nice, I thought.  Too nice to be friends with me, I thought.  And she probably is, I think she must wonder sometimes.  She is also quiet and funny and introspective and strong and ballsy and spectacularly giving.  She makes me want to be a better woman and mom and wife and sister and friend.  I make her consider getting something other than light pink on her toes.  Fair trade, right? 

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

This fall we'll have been together for almost 15 years and married for almost 13.  Matt likes to say he liked me first because he said hello across the room.  I think I liked him first because I called him first.  I didn't wait for that 3 day rule.  ;)

What has being married taught you?

Marriage is hard work.  I always thought that if it was "right" there wouldn't need to be any work and that is the far from the truth.  Marriage is hard work every day and you need to be intentional about it.  It is also more rewarding than I ever thought it could be.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

We traveled a southern route across the country.  We stopped to see a ton of historical landmarks and then spent a week in Palm Desert, CA before heading home.  Our way home was a more northern route.  We can't remember fighting or disagreeing the whole trip and actually loved having all of that uninterrupted time with each other.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

We try to communicate but sometimes have a hard time doing it.  He likes to talk about everything right away and I like to process it and talk about it later.  We have definitely gone to bed angry but we always talk about it in the morning. 

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Matt says communication.  I think he's right but, going to therapy has also worked wonders.  We started marriage counseling this summer and I could kick myself for not insisting that we go earlier.  It's really taught us that as well as we thought we knew each other, there were still things that we were holding back or hesitant to say.  Our lines of communication are much more open now than they ever were.

About Us: Sarah + Ken, Married 9 Years.

It’s that time again.  Our anniversary week is in full effect and you know what that means.  I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to stop over and to share some words on marriage.  Sit back and relax all week while they charm the pants off of you!

I met Sarah this year at BlogHer and we realized we’d been at Blissdom together too.  She is one of those people who is so genuinely nice and funny that you want to make her your friend immediately.  We bonded over the agony of walking into a party alone and genuinely scary kids toys.  Get yourself over to Toddler Summer and be sure to say hello. 

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

Her: We’ve been a couple since I was a sophomore in college 16 years ago. I’m pretty sure that he liked me first and strategically asked me to borrow a pen on the first day of the geology class where we met.

Him: We’ve been together 16 years. I definitely liked her first.

What has being married taught you?

Her: Marriage has taught me that doing things together, while sometimes harder, is much more satisfying than doing them on your own.

Him: Being married has taught me to use one another’s strengths to become one super entity!

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

Her: Having a family is definitely the most fun thing we’ve done together. No one else appreciates the small, silly moments of parenthood quite like your partner. The small things – like mispronounced words and toddlers hiding in the refrigerator may not be fun or funny to anyone else, but we laugh together about and with these small people in our lives all the time.

Him: The most fun thing we’ve done together is have babies. Also the scariest thing!

How do you resolve issues? Do you ever go to bed angry?

Her: We are lucky not to have too many issues. And when we do, we talk about them. We’re both pretty patient and even-tempered, which I think really helps us not to make a bigger deal out of things than we need to.

Him: I think I’m usually the only one with issues. They are resolved quickly once I find a way to express what they are. I go to bed angry sometimes, but generally I can’t sleep until I’m feeling better. So I’d say I never go to sleep angry.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Her: I think the secret to a happy marriage is to be friends. It might seem cliché – but the more you like each other, the more you enjoy each other’s company, the easier it is. I also think we support each other in our hobbies and passions really well even though those things are now totally different from when we first met. We’ve allowed each other to grow and change and supported each other along the way.

Him: Secret to a happy marriage? See answer number 2.

About Us: Katrina + Chris, Married 19 Years.

It’s that time again.  Our anniversary week is in full effect and you know what that means.  I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to stop over and to share some words on marriage.  Sit back and relax all week while they charm the pants off of you!

Katrina is an author.  As in, she published a real live book and another one is coming soon.  Everyone should have an author friend and now I have one of my very own.  Don’t be jealous, you can be friends with her too.  You won’t be able to help yourself after reading her take on marriage.  Swearsies.  Did I mention the blog?  I’m not quite sure how she does it with two dogs and four children, but you can bet I’m going to find out. 

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

We've been together for 25 years, married for almost 19. Chris asked me out a few times in high school before I said yes. He was persistent; I was reluctant. Eventually, his charm, good looks, romantic mix tapes (heavily featuring Billy Joel), and homemade cream of mushroom soup won me over.

What has being married taught you?

Katrina: That I'm not always right and that life is more fun with a best friend beside you.

Chris: If I was on a deserted island, I'd be content to be there alone with my wife and kids. They are everything I need.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

We tend to have a lot of fun together no matter what we do. We once had a friend who asked, "Do you always laugh at and with each other -- even when you're alone?" And we do. There's a great deal of laughter (and kitchen dancing) in this home.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

Katrina: We always try to keep things in perspective. And that perspective usually comes after I've yelled a little bit and then taken a few deep breaths... sometimes over the course of a few hours.

Chris: I don't go to bed angry because when there's an argument, I'm typically relegated to the couch.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Sometimes I think it involves a special combination of wine, Scotch, and a great sense of humor. We try not to take ourselves too seriously. But our greatest marriage advice came from a trusted advisor on our wedding day. He said, "Remember, this union comes first. No matter how many kids, grandkids, or great-grandkids may come, you must honor this relationship as your number one." We wholeheartedly believe in "putting our own oxygen masks on first." When our kids were younger, we made it a priority to hire babysitters, to go out to dinner together, to breathe and reconnect. When our kids are grown and gone, we will still have one another. That's a good thing for us because we truly enjoy each other's company. And as an added bonus, we're not afraid to shake our groove things on the dance floor.

About Us: Zakary* + Jeffery, Married 5 Years.

*His name is Jeffery and my name is Zakary. When we sent marriage announcements, some of his extended family thought I was a man (I'm not).

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

ZDub.  True story… once Dave and I were at a party and from across the room I hear Dave’s friend talking about Raising Colorado.  Why?  Because Zakary {yes, she’s got a man’s name, but so does Tate} is hilarious, she also has the awesomest hair on the planet.  Go read this, this, this, and very much especially this.  Or say fuck it and just trust that you need to add her to your reader.  Your days will be brighter.

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

We have been a couple for almost ten years. I think we liked each other equally, Jeff would come into the bar where I worked by himself almost every night I worked. My coworker actually is the one that gave Jeff my phone number. Luckily he wasn't a total weirdo.

What has being married taught you?

Being married has taught us about compromise. I know I'm not very good at it, but I think I'm getting better.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

I think every thing we do together is fun, we are funaholics.

How do you resolve issues? Do you ever go to bed angry?

To be honest, most of our issues are pretty stupid and by the time we go to bed, we forget what they were. Fighting sucks, we try not to do that.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Man, I don't think it's a big secret. Find the one person that brings out the best in you and can tolerate you and enjoy the ride. Life is so much better with love.

About Us: Mr + Mrs whippy*, married 6 years.

*AKA: Bret + Becki

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Becki and I met two and a half years ago when I ordered a custom headband for my random acts of kindness birthday.  Not only was she great to work with, when she found out what I was doing, she insisted on sending another for the giveaway that I was doing for you guys.  Since then, Whippy Cake has skyrocketed and Becki is masterfully balancing being a great wife, Mama to three beautiful children, the Whippy Cake Blog and running an extremely successful business.   Her blog and has tons of tutorials about make up, hair, fashion, and of course, accessories!

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

We've known each other for 7 years. We got married on our anniversary from the date he asked me to be his girlfriend. I think it's safe to say I like him first?

What has being married taught you?

Marriage is the hardest thing you do in life because it takes work and attention every day. If you start to put other things ahead of your partner the relation will suffer, no matter what you tell yourself.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

We aren't very fun people but one of my favorite memories was hiking this huge waterfall in Jamaica and holding all the wild animals, birds and snakes.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

We don't resolve issues. We just get to a point where we agree to disagree. We are both so strong willed and stubborn that the only way to avoid getting really angry is to give each other space or bring humor into the conversation. I LOVE to laugh! We've both had turns going to bed angry... did I mention we are stubborn?

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

If BOTH partners can learn to love the other MORE than themself and more than anything else including things, habits and hobbies then you will find the sweet spot where love can truly be felt in.

About Us: MJ + Al, married 11 years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

MJ is the brilliant writer behind the blog Seattle Moxie where she documents life and the remodel of their new home, Banister Abbey.  You can’t imagine the amount of work and how insanely cool this house is going to be.  She and her husband Al and their two children just moved back stateside after a three year stint in Paris.  You can read about their Parisian adventures at her old, neglected, unloved {but still hilarious} blog American Mom in Paris.  Funnily enough, I read her Paris blog for months, MONTHS, before realizing that we went to high school together and had gone to France together.  She also sings a mean Copacabana.

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

We've been a couple over fourteen years.  The question of who liked who first is answered differently depending who you ask.  I (Mindy) say Alex liked me first because he gave me seductive eyes across a crowded room.  He says I liked him first because I couldn't resist something called his "hot bod."

What has being married taught you?

Being married has made us realize we are both firey, unreasonable, annoying people.  Humbling.  Thankfully, we've also learned acceptance and patience to the point of sainthood.  I was never a patient person, but after fourteen years of Alex singing song lyrics loudly and incorrectly while driving 25mph on the freeway, I've become better at it.

Alex says marriage has taught him "give and take" but who the hell knows what he means by that.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

The most fun we've had together is during our travels.  We've had some crazy trips.  The episode at the forefront of our memories is drinking grappa with some locals in Croatia, then being confronted with their full frontal nudity on a boat, then stumbling home because we were afraid they were going to rob us.  Nothing says "fun" to us like running home drunk and falling into some bushes.

The least fun we've had is working on our fixer house together.  That's when we've come closest to homicide.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

We resolve issues with calm, rational communication but only after the sh*t has hit the fan and there's been a lot of yelling.  Or, if we're too tired, we don't resolve the issue at all, instead waiting for the issue to resurface at a later date when we will perhaps have more energy to deal with it.

And yes, we go to bed angry.  If we stay awake to resolve the problem, the fatigue, plus the pressure from generations of people telling us we can't go to bed angry, tends to make us more angry and less willing to be reasonable.  We become confused and incoherent to the point of fighting about something unrelated, such as ugly socks or musical preference.

So go to bed angry, it's OK.  Agree to reconvene the next day.  Everything seems less severe in the morning.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Alex says the secret to a happy marriage is choosing well to start with.  Also, sharing your dreams, no matter how stupid (that's not nice, Alex) and growing in the same direction.

I say the secret to a happy marriage is acceptance.  Al can't change me, I can't change Al.  Marriage is loving what you love about the person and largely ignoring what you hate.  Drink wine.  Laugh.  Laugh as much as you can, especially at your kids, because that really bonds you.

About Us: Holly + Josh, Married 9 Years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Holly blogs at Artist, Mother, Teacher and Curvy Girl Guide.  She is married to Josh, a musician and they have two beyond gorgeous boys.  {Seriously Holly, your boys have the bluest, prettiest eyes ever.}  Holly is creative and funny, but her posts on motherhood are what keep me coming back time and again.  I love when you can just feel how much someone loves their kids through their writing and with Holly, it comes through loud and clear.

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

12 years. Josh and I had been friends for several years before we started dating. I definitely made the "first move" to change the status of our relationship to something more than friends.

What has being married taught you?

Patience. Compromise. Acceptance. Fierce comradeship for the ones you love.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

All inclusive honeymoon vacation to Jamaica.

How do you resolve issues?

Carefully. We try to respect the fact that we won't always share the same opinion but that doesn't devalue either.

Do you ever go to bed angry?

Yes. But we don't usually wake up angry.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Respect. Friendship. Work—because it isn't always easy regardless of how hard you love each other.

About Us: Michelle + Dave, Married 7 years.

So, I want to thank you if you’ve made it through the whole bloggers on marriage series.  I know it’s such a departure from usual posting, so thanks for indulging all of mushy love junk while Dave and I celebrated our anniversary this week.  It has been so much fun reading all of the different perspectives on marriage and love and just how to make it work.

We still have a few more for you tomorrow too!

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

Michelle:  We’ve been together for ten years.  Typing that out seems weird.  Ten years is a long time, but it feels like a blink. 

Dave:  I liked you first.  I’m not even sure if you like me now? 

Michelle:  Exactly.

What has being married taught you?

Dave:  Being married has taught us to get over shit. 

Michelle:  We really don’t dwell on the past.  Mostly.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

Dave:  This is a family website, we can’t really talk about the MOST fun thing we’ve done.  So… the second most fun thing we’ve ever done is our honeymoon. 

Michelle: I can’t believe you want me to say that.  We went to Ireland and Paris and it was a riot.  Literally.  There was a riot in Paris, I was sick in Dublin, and we still managed to have an incredible time. 

How do you resolve issues? Do you ever go to bed angry?

Our issue resolving involves a lot of yelling, but then we’re over it.  Dave totally goes to bed angry because he can fall asleep in a matter of seconds regardless of circumstance.  I usually stew… on the couch and then get more mad because he is all peacefully asleep in our bed and I’m on the couch stewing.  He would like it noted that he knows I’m really mad when I storm off to the couch.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Michelle:  Picking the right person in the first place.  That is the secret, don’t settle for someone mediocre. 

Dave:  And sex.  Great sex. 

About Us: Holly + Mr. not Holly, Married 15 Years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Holly is the mastermind behind the blog 504 Main.  She is the published author of what… seven books now Holly?  Eight?  Want to hate her even more? She is a DIY goddess, she can create anything with a hot glue gun and twenty minutes.  I still remember the first post I ever read of hers… it was this spring tablescape, and I’ve been reading ever since.  She is a ball of creativity and awesomeness.

{Holly’s Husband is anonymous on her blog, thus the angle of the pic.}

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

Me: About 17 years together. We dated for just about 1.5 years before getting married. He totally liked me first. He actually will admit that! I "may have been dating someone" and was clueless and not looking, not interested, and completely difficult. I was "this close" to losing him!

Him: Long enough. I met her. I wanted to call her. We went out a few times. She was a pain...she was on her last call/date. Then she wised up.

What has being married taught you?

Me: How to not be selfish (I still am, but you should have met me before!). Have patience (always working on that one). Iam amazed daily that someloves me for all the craziness I create!

Him: Compromise. Patience. Hide your money (just kidding).

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

Me: We are not crazy adventurous risky taking type of people...I vote for our first trip to Hawaii. We'd been dating about one year, and I had never been there...so it was wonderful and relaxing and fun.

Him: Touring Europe, but Holly was really over seeing churches.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

Me: We talk we it out. We rarely fight...don't get me wrong, we get mad, but no yelling and screaming, no walking out the door (maybe once). Usually one or both of us walk away to another room, if we are too angry or need to think more, and then come back and have a discussion about whatever it is. I have never gone to bed "spitting angry"...sometimes annoyed, but everything seems better in the am - I usually have a clearer head.

Him: Compromise. Talk. More compromise.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Me: Marry the person you know...don't expect to change anyone. My husband are I are very different. A mutual friend tried to fix him up with "everyone" else and never me because she thought we would be pretty awful together. He accepts me and I accept him. Ultimately it works because we have the same values and want similar things out of life. We talked about this before we got married, heck before we got engaged. I support him and he me. Also, we are totally honest with each other (except for maybe a time or too me claiming something that was new was only 2.00 from the Goodwill...but he is on to me.)

Him: Compromise

About Us: Jessica + The Husband, Married 5 Years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Jessica is a twenty-something actress, event planner, law school spouse, Disney LOVAH, and she does crazy shit like clean out her closets for no good reason, which is why we are friends.  She entertains daily at Acting Adult not to be confused with Adult Acting, she is not THAT kind of girl.  Pop over and pay her a visit!

How many years have you been a couple?  Who liked whom first?

We've been together for over 7 years.

He said: She did.

She said: He asked me on a date, so obviously he had feelings for me first.

He said: Her answer is bogus.

What has being married taught you?

He said: Is everything I knew before a valid answer?

She said: Wow. You haven't even learned something?

He said: I don't know, what have you learned?

She said: He defers to me a lot in the little things. I like making decisions and he doesn't really care about a lot of those things. It seems to be working out.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

We've done a lot of fun things together, but we're hoping the most funnest thing is yet to come.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

It's a good thing Husband doesn't stay angry for very long. Jessica on the other hand, has been known to go to bed angry. Never thought we would be like that, but there it is. How do we resolve issues? We talk. We yell. We walk away. We talk some more. And then we cuddle. We like the cuddling.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

She said: Two bathrooms. Hands down.

He said: Have patience with the other person - they're not as cool as you are but they're getting there.

About Us: Sara + Shaun, Married 1 Year.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Sara has me drooling with envy at every gorgeous space she and Shaun have renovated in their first house.  She chronicles every bit of it at her blog Russet Street Reno.  I mean really, what girl wouldn’t love her own dressing ROOM?  Get yourself over there to drool over the den and the master… even the coat closets get the Sara touch!  I want to live closer so I can have her over to pick colors and build insane bookcases and reno everything in our house too.

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

We've been a couple for 7 years, we met at a bar and both liked each other immediately!

What has being married taught you?

To not sweat the small stuff and have fun as much as possible.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together? 

Our honeymoon in Jamaica is holding steady as the most fun we've had together - not counting all the daily fun we have with our 2-month-old son Ashford!

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry? 

We resolve arguments by cooling off until we can talk about it rationally.  This means that sometimes we do go to bed angry or go visit friends/family separately to give us time to think about the other's point of view. 

What is the secret to a happy marriage? 

I think it's to marry your best friend, but I'd like you to tell me since you've been married much longer than me :)

About Us: Ally + D, Married 20* Years.

*OK, they aren’t technically at 20 until October, but we’re counting it as 20!

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

I can’t remember if I found Ally from Just a Normal Mom or if Ally found me first, but I’ve been reading her for years.  {Her bestie also used to blog with her.} I love reading bloggers who have teenagers because it is such a different perspective than the thousands of mommy bloggers who have little ones at home.  {She is also very careful to respect his privacy and is still able to share great stories.} 

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

A: He liked me first, but I wasn’t interested in dating him. He kept up the flirting for about 9 months and I finally gave in and let him cook me dinner. That was it, I never looked back! He proposed on the one year anniversary of when we started dating and we were married 10 months later.
D: “22 years. I liked you first. I was in love with you the moment I saw you.”
A: Aw, how cute is he?

What has being married taught you?

A: I can still be me, and yet be “us”.  Together, we are better than apart.
D: “How wonderful life is when you’re in my world”
A: Seriously, that was his answer. Gotta love this guy.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

A: Spending three days alone in Hana, Maui - the first time just the two of us had been to Hawaii alone since our son was born. Pure relaxation in paradise.
D: “Hawaiian vacations.”
A: See, we think alike! For the record, we met in while both living separately in Hawaii, so going back is pretty special for us.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

A: “We don’t really argue or fight. Sure, we have ‘debates’, but nothing too crazy. Oh, I’m still a girl, I still PMS, so there are times, but we talk nearly everything through. There’s no way I could go to bed angry. My brain would never shut down and allow me to sleep.”
D: “We never have issues and we never go to bed angry. Rarely.”

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

A: Knowing how to compromise. Knowing how to bring out and appreciate the best in each other. Knowing how let each other’s good sides shine. Talking, talking, talking. And of course, knowing when to shut up!
D: “Compatability.”
A: Yeah, that’s what I said! :)

A big thank you to Michelle for having us here - Happy Anniversary to you and Dave!

About Us: Megan + Trent, Married 7 years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my most favorite bloggers in the world and their husbands to share some words on marriage. Enjoy!

I met Megan from Crazy Bananas through an Alt class.  She and her husband Trent live in Kansas City with their two kids.  Weirdly, she and my sister in law have the exact same name AND she has a son named Tate!  She blogs about  life and style and family and fashion.  She is artsy and funny and I’m totally smitten with her blog.

How many years have you been a couple and who liked who first?

We've been together 10 years, since sophomore year in college, but we've known each other since grade school. We're from the same hometown, and a few years into dating we found a journal of mine from 6th grade that detailed an encounter during a skating rink trip where I met a cute boy named Trent. After some random questioning, we realized that it was my Trent! Craziness. We also technically may have run into each other in preschool, as we both have confirmed being at several swim parties at the same time, but we don't remember each other. We "really" met in high school, where we both liked each other, but were dating other people so it didn't work out. Instead we teased each other during our marine biology class and mercilessly flirted while pretending we couldn't stand each other. A few years later we ran into each other at a college party and the stars finally aligned.

What has being married taught you?

He Said - Being married has taught me to be more patient and about the importance of companionship. We're both sort of geeky loners, but it's nice having someone who is always there for you, regardless.

She Said - Being married has taught me to be more understanding and more kind. I can be sort of judgmental and Trent has taught me to try and look at all sides of the story before I freak out. He's also taught me the importance of a clean home, checked luggage and getting into a bit of trouble. I am a total rule follower, and being married to him has taught me to take some risks now and then. Oh, and learn how to make a mean egg breakfast sandwich. It's the way to a man's heart.

What is the most fun thing you've ever done together?

Wow, there are too many to count! We've been together through some major life changes (college, graduation, responsible adults, marriage, kids) and the fun is all relative to where we are in our lives. The most recent fun thing we did was go to New York City for four days. It was our first trip with just the two of us since our daughter was born six years ago, and I had forgotten how fun we are together when we're not coordinating work schedules and nap schedules and after school activities. We slept in, went to museums, attended a broadway show, ate tons of good food and just basically enjoyed each other. It was wonderful! But really, we have the most fun when we're in our sweats, goofing off at home with the kids. We're homebodies and we're pretty okay with that!

How do you resolve issues? Do you ever go to bed angry?

We actually do go to bed angry, which I know isn't what all the "experts" tell couples to do. I, in particular, need space when I'm angry and Trent is a very convincing debater, so when we're in a heated argument, I usually need to leave the room and gather myself before he convinces me my argument is totally invalid. Sometimes that means going to bed angry. But we have much better discussions when we've both had a chance to cool down and think rationally, instead of saying things in the moment that we'll regret later. I should preface that statement with the fact that it took us a LONG TIME to figure that out. Lots of slammed doors, storming out of the house and angry threats were thrown about before we learned it was okay to step away and take a breath. Trent and I started dating when I was 19 years old (my god, I was a BABY!) so we've really grown into our maturity together, and that greatly influences how we resolve issues.

What is the secret to a happy marriage? 

He Said - Let things go. Enjoy the person you're married to. Breakfast sandwiches (they show me that she loves me). Wine. But seriously, a healthy relationship is one where you've probably been through some major things together, stuck it out, and that makes you stronger.

She Said - Remember the first moment you knew you loved that person, and refuse to let that moment fade away. Grope each other whenever the opportunity presents itself. Remember love is an action, not just a feeling, and by actively loving someone, you'll feel love. I got that last one from a self help book...probably written by Bethany Frankel. Don't judge. Okay, that's my last tip. Don't judge! Your wife may watch the E! Network and have science fiction movie marathons. Your husband may spend hours on video games that make absolutely no sense. Just take it all in and love them anyway.

About Us: Kate + Austin, Married 3 Years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Kate from Motley Mama is the newest-to-me blogger that I’m featuring this week.  I started reading her a few months ago and peeps?  I can’t stop.  Yes, yes, there are things like the fact that we have babies the same age and both dealt with the shit that comes with PCOS, but that’s not it.  If I had to sum her up, I’d say she’s honest, funny, and very candid about the realities of motherhood and life.  She certainly doesn’t blow sunshine and roses up your butt, but she isn’t a giant wallowing pessimist when she tells it exactly like it is.  She is a rarity.  What are you waiting for?

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

5 years. Austin was after me like white on rice.

What has being married taught you?

Always ask before eating the last piece of chicken.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

I'd like to say "have a baby," but then I remembered all the tearing. Ouch. We spent some time doing relief work in Haiti a few summers ago. It was 100 degrees with 100% humidity--but we had a great time and laughed a lot.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

My advice to any couple getting married is always "go to bed angry." Things always look better in the morning.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

There is no secret. There's just a lot of work, selflessness, and the bizarre reality that you are in charge of your own happiness.

Read more about our love story here.

About Us: Necole + Mr Kell, Married 11 Years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Necole is the mastermind behind Seriously Sassy Mama.  And that she is.  She blogs about life, motherhood of three daughters, fashion, knitting, books, and whatever strikes her fancy. 

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

We have been a couple for 21 years.  We are high school sweethearts who met running track.  Mr. Kell remembers a friend telling him that I liked him.  We have been together ever since.

What has being married taught you?

Mr. Kell -  "Life is not about how many punches you can throw, it is about how many you can take and keep moving forward"  (Mr. Kell cannot go through a day without quoting Rocky.)  (I am going to say that he thinks marriage is work, and that you constantly have to work to make it good.)

Necole -  That men and women are truly different creatures, and that we should appreciate our differences, even if we do not like them.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

We both agree that we had an absolute blast at our wedding reception.  After 11 years of marriage, people still talk about it.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

I can answer this without Mr. Kell.  We are both passionate people and we argue.  I will not lie, and will say that we do yell.  I personally do not like to lose an argument.  In 11 years, we have most certainly gone to bed angry.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Mr. Kell - you have to truly like one another.  Love is not enough.

Necole - Be kind and supportive.  Do not ever be afraid to tell them that they are wrong or are making a bad decision.  You have to look out for each other.  You have to be a team.

About Us: Janet + Will, Married 9 Years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Janet is joy personified.  She blogs at This Confetti Life and before I {badly} describe how happy her blog makes me and why I love reading it, read her philosophy because that just sums it up better than anyone ever could.  Everything about it makes me smile from her crazy ass family to every one of the joyful things she does on a daily basis.

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

We met in October 1999, almost 13 years ago, in a Walmart. After a brief conversation on the film aisle, Janet left the store and immediately told her friends, “I’m going to marry that guy.”  A few weeks later, during our first kiss, there was an earthquake (seriously).  So, for Janet, it was love at first sight. For Will? It actually took the earth moving.

What has being married taught you?

So many things! Being married expands the world to twice its size. Vacations now include baseball games AND art museums, historical monuments AND dessert with every meal.  We’ve each been places we never would have chosen, tasted foods we never would have ordered, been to events we never would have signed up for, learned things we never would have known, all thanks to the other. And it’s not just experience--more importantly, love and joy and wonder are doubled when shared.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

Throwing our bags in the trunk of the car, driving to the airport, and boarding a plane for some new destination--we both love the giddy anticipation associated with departing for a big trip.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

Resolving issues has become much more simple the longer we’ve been married. When Janet gets mad, she puts Will on notice: “I’m not speaking to you for the next 10 minutes.” If she’s really mad, make it 20 minutes. It’s best not to go to bed angry, but if we ever do, we’re always sure to say “I love you” and kiss each other goodnight.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

We are of the philosophy that happiness, including marital happiness is a choice, comprised of a series of small everyday choices. We choose to make waffles for breakfast on Sunday morning, hold hands in the theater, drink a bottle of wine on a Wednesday night, go on an evening run together, look for the best in the day. And in these small everyday choices, we’ve chosen a happy marriage.

About Us: Bunny + Stan*, Married 6 Years.

*AKA: Nikki + Marc.  {Bunny + Stan are their crazy alter egos.}

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Ahhhh, Nikki from 86’n it.  I mean, she’s a renovating badass, she runs religiously right up until giving birth, is a creative genius, can make you laugh till you want to pee your pants, makes gorgeous babies, and has more energy and drive than anyone I know.  I can tell you all of those things for days, but five minutes with Nikki and you are smitten.  What you don’t see on the blog is that this girl, she is also an unwavering, there for you, got your back sort of force to be reckoned with that doesn’t come along very often.  I’m so incredibly lucky to call her friend.

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

We've been a couple for 12 years!! Marc thinks he liked me first, but I think it was pretty simultaneous. I remember passing him in the hall in architecture school and thinking "Who's that hottie?". He remembers thinking (after I said something hilarious in the computer lab), "Who is this saucy troublemaker?)

What has being married taught you?

This was the hardest one for us to answer. Maybe because we dated as long as we have been married, marriage didn't seem like a big change. When I really think about it though, it did change a lot. We were one of those horrible break-up/make-up couples. Ugh. Marriage has been very refreshingly permanent. I think it has taught us to relax. We love each other and we are in it for the long haul.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

Event? Hands down New Years Eve 2003 at the Olive Garden in Time Square. Best $100 we've ever spent. It was a crazy dance party overlooking all those freezing people corralled outside. Staff handed us glasses of champagne as we rode the escalator down to see the ball drop outside. We somehow lost 4 hours after midnight and NO ONE in our 6-person entourage knows how. The next day we were super hung and ordered a pizza so big it literally didn't fit through the door. Good times.

Activity? Becoming parents. We are both a little obsessed with our daughter. We have more fun living with her than we could have ever imagined. Life is good.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

We fight. Then we go to bed angry. When we wake up in the morning, I drink coffee and we work it out.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

I think is different for every couple but for us it is talking. Not "communication", but just talking. We talk constantly about everything and not just our life/marriage related stuff. We talk about our friends, politics, current events, our childhoods, or just funny internet tidbits. It keeps us engaged and connected. Plus, I grew up with 2 sisters and the world's most chatty brother. I LOVE to talk.

About Us: Megan + Jon, Married 3 years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Megan blogs at Little Prairie Life.  She is crafting, cooking, meditating Mama who is also very honest about life at home with two small children.  {Hint: It can be maddening for ANY Mama.}  Her smile is infectious and so is her ability to feel like your best friend.  She’s also got just about the cutest cottage house ever… seriously, check out the painted ceilings!

How many years have you been together and who liked whom first?

Megan: How long have we been together?

Jon: 5 years, right?

Megan: Yeah, and I liked you first.

Jon: No, I think we liked each other at the same time; it was love at first sight.

What has being married taught you?

Megan: Its taught me that you have to make sure you're on the same page, otherwise its so easy to get upset or angry over false expectations.

Jon: We got married and had kids at the same time and I think that you can't extract one from the other in terms of life experience and the thing that its taught me is the one I'm still working on, which is to live for four people instead of one person. 

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together?

Megan: We don't do fun things together!

Jon: Yes, we do. We went to Sanibel for our honeymoon and camping in Colorado for our first anniversary.

Megan: I don't even remember Sanibel.

Jon: Yeah, we took a bike ride around the island and ate -

Megan: SWEET BREAD! Ew!

Jon: And we went parasailing.

Megan: That was fun. I liked Colorado better.

Jon: Yeah, me too, but you didn't like it at first.

Megan: Um, it was raining and cold! 

Jon: Until we zipped our sleeping bags together.

Megan: *snickering* And you made tea for me every morning. That was sweet.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry?

Megan: Well, I usually start things off by totally freaking out. 

Jon: Jon stares at her without speaking. Megan gets even more mad. Jon gets defensive and makes rational arguments. Megan storms off. Jon sits alone and thinks. And then finally everyone calms down enough to talk through it. Its a pretty good method.

Megan: I do go to bed angry sometimes.

Jon: I don't, because if I do it'll keep me up.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Megan: Uh.....

Jon: I don't know. What do you think? Good communication is part of it. And having reasonable expectations of one another.

Megan: And not expecting them to be someone they aren't.

Jon: And doing stuff together!

About Us: Lora + Dave, Married 13 years.

The Davester and I have the seven year itch. That’s right. SEVEN years of wedded bliss. {Total lie, marriage is hard work, yo.} While we’re celebrating our anniversary this week, I’ve asked some of my favorite bloggers and their husbands to share some words on marriage.

Lora is the brilliant blogger behind Fever.  I don’t even know how to describe her writing except to say that I love it.  She has an uncanny knack for talking about the most random shit that keeps me glued to the post until the very last punctuation mark.  I mean really, read this post and tell me you won’t be subscribing to her. 

How many years have you been a couple & who liked whom first?

18 years together, and we still argue about who liked whom first!  I didn't know he spoke English when I first saw him.  We were next door neighbors in the co-ed freshmen dorms (mothers, don't let your babies live in co-ed dorms) and would say hello to one another but that was it.  Since he never spoke to me, I assumed he didn't speak English.  I never once thought he wouldn't speak to me for any other reason.  Turns out he was shy and had a crush. We started hanging out together and he wouldn't kiss me, so I kissed him first.  He claims I attacked him.

What has being married taught you?

That being married is the hardest thing about marriage!  It can be a battle.  Sometimes one on one between us and sometimes the two of us against the world.  It's all about compromise and communication and creativity and compassion and caring and probably all sorts of other c-words.

What is the most fun thing the two of you have ever done together? 

Not sure what the most fun thing is, but we enjoyed traveling after we first got married, before we had to buckle down and get real grown-up jobs.

How do you resolve issues?  Do you ever go to bed angry? 

It depends what the issue is.  Sometimes we can just let the issue fizzle out.  Sometimes one of us has to give an ultimatum to the the other. Flexibility is key, as is being open to a vast continuum of problem solving.

Of course!  The worst advice we ever got was "never go to bed angry".  Sometimes tempers flare because people are exhausted.  Everyone has a clearer head in the morning, and sleep is restorative and therapeutic.  Who wants to stay up all night fighting?  That's craziness!  That said, one of us might not go to BED angry.  But we both go to SLEEP angry.  Sometimes it's okay for someone to angrily sleep on the couch.  Anger should be kept out of the bedroom.

What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Communication.  Real, live, down and dirty, soul-baring communication.  It's also the hardest thing to do sometimes.  You have to work to be happy.  Every single day.